Another Project almost completed....

This weekend was my job to Tile the laundry room - and I am just the Grout away from completion.
The first question you should ask is "Why does the Laundry room need to be tile?" And to that I have no logical answer. Just doing what the wife tells me to do. The only qualifying statement I can say is that this will be good practice for the 1/2 bathroom (which looks like next weekend's job.)
Funny part was the wife's reaction when she got home on Saturday night. (I had finished my dry cuts and had the whole floor layed out, Sunday was thin-setting the tile, Monday is grout.) "Oh, my god, this looks great." She didn't think I could do it....
Showed her...

Debate

As I wrote that last post I have been watching the V.P. Debate.
Please note - I cannot stand that smug, pompus ass Joe Biden. All my relatives live in Delaware and that state is so disfunctional - everything is run by Unions and he is DEEP in special intersts' pockets. That being said, you can tell that he has been in Washington for 30+ years. He reminds me of Clinton with his slickness.
The chick has done OK in my book...
There is still 30 minutes left. I will sit back and watch...
Very interesting.

Found an Old Friend - That's what it's all about...

Leading up to last weeks' debacle in Clemson I was sitting around, surfing the net and I was thinking of the past and thought of who from my days at Clemson have I lost touch with? One name came to mind- Barn.

Barn's from the highest point between Paris Mt. and Columbia - only He and his family are the only people in SC that know where that little town is but that's the kindof people you meet at Cow Town. He was the cool kind of Band Nerd, he was on the drum line. I always thought - A Red Neck with rhythm, interesting. I always think back on the time he came back to the hall after a NC State game drunk and says "Kevin - I gonna kick your ass." We been friends ever since.

We went to a 3 Bowl games after graduation and they were packed with memories:

• Being denied entry into a Honky Tonk in Jacksonville after the game and fearing for our lives. Instead we bought a 6-pack to go and Barn was paranoid the SC Highway Patrol would get his finger prints off the bottles as we threw them out the window in Cottageville.
• Stumbling drunk through MARTA trains.
• As Barn's shoe sole came 1/2 off he decides to lay down in the middle of the intersection in Buckhead between Steamhouse and Lu Lu's Baitshack. And he stops traffic at 11:40 on New Years Eve until I realize he's layed out in the middle of the street.
• After that - We get befriended by a group of Marine's and all of a sudden some schmuck crashes a bottle on one of the Priviate's heads and I proceed to grab the guy by the hair and give him 6-7 knee lifts as the rest of the Platoon converges on the guy and pummels the shit out of him. All the while, Barn is sitting at the bar trying to convince a girl to kiss him at midnight - "c'mon, gimmeakiss." He didn't even know the fight happened.
• We were in charge of passing out the Champagne at midnight that night and many people were pissed because we kept drinking out of all the bottles we were supposed to be passing out.
• We spent one New Years Eve getting rained on at Jacksonville Station - and whoever said Jacksonville Station is fun is full of shit - I hope I never go back there.
• We watched Syracuse whip our ass one year and the man-child next to me was the rudest, most obnoxious fan in the world. I sat thru 2 1/2 Quarters of this game having this kid scream at the team, the coach the fans, etc. Well I put up with this kid until he bumped my arm and made me spill my beer - unacceptable and I SCREAMED at this kid and threatened his life. He apologized and left - I got a standing ovation from the entire section and free beers bought for me...

As you can see, these are some memories that aren't easily forgotten. But, we lost touch over the years. Moving and relationships all take their tolls but 10 or so years later it was good to just pick up the phone and hear "I wanna see some big titties." Nothing has changed. He's the same, I'm the same and if we lived closer together, Barn would barge into my house, go straight to the beer fridge, take my last beer and walk out - like he did many times in college. That's what friendship is all about...

Head, Gut or Groin....

Isn't that a game they play on America's Stupidest Video's?
Well, thats how I feel about Saturdays' debacle at the hands of the Turtles. Jesus... 260 yards rushing in the 1st half, 58 in the 2nd half. How does that happen? Why go away from what works? We were averaging 7-8 yards a carry, hmmm, ball control, low turnover propbablity, clock management - all these things area associated with running the ball andwe totally went away from it....
So you start passing? I swear to JC himself that Rob Spence has wet dreams about bubble screens BUT i will say this, if it wasn't for the Bubble Screen we would have NO PASSING ATTACK - thats all our guys know how to do. Thank God the TE knows how to catch.

The stat came up on Saturday that Fatboy Fridgen is 5-3 vs. Clemson, can you believe that? A losing record to Maryland???? How does that happen.?
We may only win 1 more game this year - I actually think we can take Virginia without much trouble. (oops, there i go being optimistic)
Duke Scares me
Wake Forest has an off weekend just like Clemson but I bet they are more productive in their 10 days off than we are and I bet they beat the crap out of us.
We have never beaten Bosten College and I doubt we do here.
Daddy Bowden is going to spank Tommy like he was 2
...and last but not least....
Spurrier is going to beat our ass and gloat like a muthafucka...

This sucks....

I Gotta be careful....

Not sure if everyone is ready to be introduced to Firefly Vodka... So good it is criminal but maybe that is its' curse rather than its' benefit.

Sometime good things need to be kept quiet.

Forgot to Mention -

While on vacation I was all caught up in my own aura. Dealing with the In-Laws, finding new drinks and marveling at how, absolutely, long I can drive the golf ball, and how little snookie I get-even though this was our Anniversary vacation; all this being said I forgot to inform the 7 people that read this blog about the best G.D. golf shot I have ever seen...

Rogdog (pronounced Rauj-dog) was kicking my ass on the 1st Sunday on the course when we got to a par 3 on the front and he absolutely nails the ball. Wow good shot Rogdog, and I think nothig about it. I am focusing on my shot, his is on the green but probably rolled 6' past the hole. As we drive up to the hole, Rogdog says "Hmmm, looks better and better don't it?" I finally get a good look at his shot and start shouting "Holy SHIT!!!"

Honky mo-fo put a crater sized ball mark 6" from the hole and the ball released 4" toward the hole. He was right at 2" from a hole-in-one... Damn... Unbelieveable shot....

Later in the round, after seeing between 9-11 alligators ranging from 9' big mommas to 2' babies, Rogdog fades one into the trees before the dogleg right. You gonna punch out I say to Rog. Hell NO! was his response. "Get ready for the best GD golf shot you have ever seen Kevin, I am going thru these 8 trees and then going to bend it around the dogleg and land on the green 4' from the hole." (yeah right muthafuka) Dammit if he doesn't do it - exactly the way he said. Only, if I recall, it was about 6' from the hole. Damn impressive.

He shoots an 87, a personal best, and I gotta say I have only seen 2 or 3 better rounds in person.

My claim to fame is that when we played on Wednesday I broke 100 for the first time in a long time AND I was crushing my drives. One was at least 310 yards - thats what keeps you coming back.

PS. Rog - was this hommage enough for you? I can keep going if you would like...

U.S.A.!!!!!!!!

Congrats to the US Ryder Cup Team. I didn't watch a whole lot of the tournament but enough to have some opinions:

• Azinger made some tough decisions and had some questionable captains choices but they all worked out. Good for him. The pairings and playing of the whole team showed that they all had a hand in the US winning and that confidence was rewarded.
• Knowing that you are a questionable pick makes you play better. Kim was Great, Boo Weekly proved to be funny as hell and one hell of a good player. Campbell was really good bringing up the rear on Sunday.
• Mickelson and Furyk were disappointing - young guns full of piss and vinegar can play with more heart than established superstars.
• Mickleson had an interesting quote. When asked to finish this sentence "Kim is..." and his response was - "...a very funny guy. I laughed at everything that came out of his mouth all weekend." OK Phil, he's funny, but why not comment on his golf game. He sure as hell showed you up...
• JB Holmes is a monster bomber. WOW, his drives are crazy.

Ya gotta ask, would they have done as well if Tiger was playing? Would they have been as loose? Probably not...

Good for the USA!!!!!

Didja Miss Me?

It's been awhile since I blogged - just needed a break.
Let me give you a brief recap of what has been happening and the very bottom point is why I have been gone so long...

• Just got back from a week in Garden City, SC. It was nice to be at the beach but it was kinda crowded with In-Laws, 2 sisinlaws, nephew, broinlaw, and one's boyfriend.
• Took Rog-man to his first Flogging Molly show at House of Blues, MB. He was blown away. Great show. Rog did the research later and found that the lead singer, Dave King, used to be lead singer or 80's Metal Band, Fastway - whoda thunk that?
• Saw some HUGE sharks from the Pier.
• Broke 100 on the golf course for the first time in a long time - I even lost 6 balls so the score could have been really low 90's if I could just get my game together. Big drives though. That keeps you coming back - My $100 driver is a ton better than the $350 Ping driver I used to have. Fatherinlaw gave me a huge Cleveland driver that I hit OK but NOTHING is beating the Tiger Shark driver with the Pro60 shaft. (PS - you should all worship my shaft...)
• Discovered a new Liquor - FIREFLY Vodka; sweet tea infused Vodka. Nanny on those of you outside SC, it isnot distributed outside SC yet. Made in Wadmalaw Island, SC (distillery is located right next to the largest Tea Plantation in the US) and it is awesome. 1/2 glass of Firefly and 1/2 water and a lemon wedge and you cannot tell the difference. Yummy.
• Took the Nephew to the Clemson vs. Citadel game. He had a really good time. I could not believe the Citadel put up 410 yards offense against us. (I also cannot believe Clemson is going back up into the top 20 after beating NC State and SC State - we have proved nothing as of yet, I would have preferred not to be ranked until the Wake Forest game - then we might deserve it.
• Big Time Tailgate for the Alabama vs. Clemson game. Tailgate was great but we got our asses handed to us!!! After watching Alabama over the last few weeks, they look good and have taken our spot at #9. Good for them... That was one of the most demoralizing losses I have seen in a LONG time.

This is a good rundown, but I forgot to mention a Braves game and a couple trips to Summits, alot of beers and some general good times... I intentionally left out the Anniversary that just occurred.

NIN - industrial xylophone....

WOW... Nine Inch Nails put on a FANTASTIC show last night. I was impressed for the 35th time... Not only did they play great and put on a killer light show BUT the Gwinnett Center actually sounded good. (Even though it was only 2/3 full)

Trent came out playing songs from his new, FREE, album and they sounded great. He then went into some older stuff, and then they did a set change and they played an instrumental set of 5 - 6 songs from Ghosts I-IV. Really pulled it off well. Interesting point here was that Trent actually played Industrial Xylophone (actually it is called something like a miramba, but what the hell do I know - It's a Fucking Xylophone) and Tito Puente would be proud of him (I think that was the Cuban salsa xylophone player from the 50's and 60's) That just shows his versatility. Later in the show his guitarist, Robin Fricke (from ATL) actully played Industrial Banjo on March of the Pigs. WOW... I had never seen that before.

Show rocked and my ears were still ringing this morning. Thats a sign that Gwinnett Center has made the much needed changes to their sound system. NOW the only issue with the Gwinnett Center is the freaking 1hr 40min drive it takes to get there....

I know Trent made some major $$$ last night but I would have much rather seen him for 2 nights at the Tabernacle or 5 shows at the Masquerade...

Spoilin' the Wife...

This will be the first of many posts about our weekend getaway to Pennsylvania.
The first point I want to say is that I have to make a concerted effort to quit spoiling the wife... Leading up to this weeend getaway a major concern was how much $ this mini-vacation would cost - I reassured the wife that our Hotel rooms would be FREE since I have accumulated so many Holiday Inn Priority Club points. (Some of you may scoff at me bragging about Holiday Inn points but the Holiday Inn in Valdosta has been the best Hotel there until recently when 2 new hotels have just opened - so I have been staying at the best Hotel in Titletown for over a year.) I decided to cash some of these points in so that we could keep the costs down.

I learned 1 important message... Cashing points in has its' privledges - you are more apt to get upgraded when cashing in your points than when you book a base room with a locally negotiated discounted rate. In Mooresville, NC we were in a 6th floor (top) 2 room suite that had a jacuzzi tub in the Living Room. I had never seen a tub in the Living Room. We could watched TV from the tub - never even thought of doing that in my lifetime. Then Saturday we were in Allentown, PA and we got the 9th Floor Entertainment Suite. This place was huge, with a wet bar for entertaining. I looked at the placard and this room normally goes for $399 per night.

So, the last 3 times I have spent the night with the wife in a Hotel has been on major upgraded rooms. And here I go back to Valdosta again tomorrow to begin earning some more points so I can take care of her again.

(I will be posting more about the trip shortly - time for bed now.)

Got Tickets to the Bamma Butt Whippin!!!!!!!!

Yeah - it is officially football season when you have actual tickets in hand... I actually got mine today for the Clemson vs. Alabama game.
Hot Damn, I can hardly wait.
Got confirmation that my Season Tix have come through and have until the end of the month to pay for them... (bonus)

Interesting that we just now got confirmation that College Game Day will be in ATL for the game but when I got my tickets, there is all kinds of events planned for that day.

Kool...

Bring on the Bad Bamma Jammas!

Say Uncle....

Damn dude - just stay retired.... I am so tired of the Brett Favre retired/unretired bullshit. You say you are going to quit, so quit - shit, they are offering to pay you to stay retired. $20 mil to stay retired - WOW. Never heard of that before.

Let me back up... How can Green Bay snub one of the greatest QB's ever? They should have welcomed him back with open arms and told him he would have to compete for the job. Farve would probably win the starting job in Training Camp but then they could have his backup ready to go at any moment. Brett throws 2 ints in a game, bench his old ass. Yeah, he would be pissed and the media would go nuts, but this would then be an actual playing decision... If Rodgers does the same thing, throwing ints, send Brett back in...

OK, I have chimed in and now I want this story to GO AWAY... Thank God all the NFL teams are in camp and College teams start camp on Sunday...

29 days before we whip up on some pink elephants.

Sign of the Apocalypse....

Well... It's hard for me to watch the dismal performance of the Atlanta Braves over the last couple days. Blowing 5 run leads in consecutive games over the weekend almost killed me. Now, with the trade of Tex, you can tell they have practically given up and taken the montra of "wait till next year."

While watching Sports Center today I see that the Kansas City Royals have a better record than the Braves... Wow... How far we have sunk....

Are we going to have to re-live the 1980's again??? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if ticket prices go down to $4 for outfield seats... Ah, the good old days: cheap seats and no expectation of winning. We would go to watch Dale Murphy and Phil Neikro but knew something would happen to cause them to lose. My first 23 Atlanta Braves games were all LOSSES...

Congrats to Valdosta....

As you have been able to figure out over they years - I have no idea what I am talking about. 2 posts ago I gave Valdosta, Ga no chance in Hell in winning ESPN's Titletown USA but guess what???

They WON....

Good for them....

I just got back from Winnersville and when I was in the Lowndes County Planning Commission meeting on Monday the Commission's Chairman kept referring to Valdosta as Titletown USA and I just thought he was trying to be funny. Little did I know they had announced it to the town a few days prior. WOW, little Valdosta Georgia has incredible national exposure.

Interesting talk radio points today was about getting DII Valdosta State Univ to take the steps and go up to DI and try to get into the Southern Conference and play the likes of Georgia Southern, the Citadel, etc... I could not believe the people that called in NOT wanting this... CRAZY...

Doddamn Yellow Jackets....

I usually reserve this headline for football / basketball but this tirade is directed at the Devil possessed poison infused evil fucking flying kamikazi dive bombing stinging mother fuckers that got after me today...
The wife wants the upper part of our back yard raked and cleaned up. To get there you have to go up on the side of the fenceline to bypass all the juniper. Well, I have been going thru an on going battle with the Kudzu up there and I am slowly winning but today - revenge was enacted. I was up there raking and pulling up all the kudzu an trying to get thru all the mulch that has collected over the last 50 years. I found a big Kudzu rootsystem and start hacking at it with my Fiskar's axe. (Those freaking Dutch/Swedes make an awesome axe) Anyhow, buzz buzz buzz and beeeeoooowww, muthafuka, I start flailing my arms and skeedaddling out of there with my right thigh on fire. I slap down on my shorts and kill that little bastard... I got him but he sure as hell got me... Outside of my right thigh is killing me. Feels like a golfball is inside my leg and the skin won't stretch. Just uncomfortable as hell..
I need a cigarrette so I can take the tobacco and moisten it and make an indian poultice but I forgot to get one from the soccer boys... Yes, I played in my game tonight and it allowed me to take my mind off of it.
Just because I am not dead from an allergic reactions doesn't mean I don't still hurt...
So I spent $27 on yellow jacket traps, and sprays that shoot 20 feet... They'll regret taking a bite out of me.

Invasion of the Land Snatchers....

My job requires me to do things that I am uncomfortable with. Not that they are bad things but sometimes they are outside my comfort zone. I am usually amazed that when my gumption gears up and I make the cold call - I am continually surprised at how easy my job is... Like Nike says - "Just Do It".

Well one of my projects has been putting some pressure on me for one of my sites but I have come up empty on all my attempts to make contact with a small church in Norcross. They have no phone number listed, no information when doing a Google search, No mailbox, no other indicators on their marquee out front.

Last Wednesday I got my gumption up and I decided to go to their Wednesday night service, but it didn't start until 7pm, so the marquee says. I drive around for a while and pass the church at 6pm and the gates aren't opened, 6:15 another pass and still locked, 6:30 same thing, 6:45 and still no one there and gates are locked. By 6:55 I decide that God must have had the night off.

With that failed attempt, what was left? Yup, Sunday Service. It took me a solid HOUR to get there on a Sunday and I got there right at 10am. Do I go in or do I sit cowardly in my car? You got it - I sat in my car. I was sitting there beating myself up and a woman pulls up in her Ford Ranger truck, complete with hunting rifle in the gun rack and Georgia bumper stickers all over. She gets out and finishes her cigarrette. (She reminded me of Marge Simpson's sisters.) I approach her as graciously as possible and even apologize for my intrusion. I ask her for a way to contact someone/anyone from the church and she was nice enough to give me the Head Deacon and Preacher's #'s. Then she asks what this is about. What i want to do cannot be explained correctly in 1-2 sentences so I give her an overview and she goes nuts. "You have alot of nerve coming here on a Sunday Morning." "Ma'am, I didn't know how else to get in touch with anyone." "You should be ashamed of your self, this is a place of worship!" as she snatches my cards out of my hand and growls "Wait till I tell Dad about this." (I deduce the Head Deacon is her father)

This encounter really upset me for the rest of the day. Did what I had to do, failing was not an option here, and I felt guilty.

This morning, at 8:15, I call the Head Deacon, apologize for the encounter with his daughter by explaining that she misconstrued my intent. I gave him my speil and he is definitely interested. He asked some good questions and gave me some work to do to answer them but I feel they are in. Why was his daughter such a bitch? I no longer feel bad about what I did - I am actually going to help this little church, that happens to be located on prime real estate...

Good for Them BUT They have NO CHANCE IN HELL.

I watched SportsCenter this morning to see the Valdosta, GA installment of Title Town USA.

Since I have been traveling to Valdosta for the past year for work, I have grown to like that little town. The Sports Center piece did not do justice to this little town affectionately known as "Winnersville, USA"...

They had some nobody NFL player on to talk about the History of Valdosta Football but he went to Lowndes H.S., the cross town rival who did NOT win a State Championship while at Lowndes.

What I would have done is get a Mayor or Senator or Congressmen to plead their case. They should have come out and said that Valdosta H.S. was so dominant in the 80's that they had to split the school in 1/2. I would focus on the fact that now both schools have to travel hundreds of miles to play schools in Atlanta and Florida to get the right amount of competition since the surrounding areas are not competitive. I would have focused on the College and Professional Athletes that have come from this town. I would have mentioned Valdosta State winning the DIII National Championship and how quickly they have done it because they used to not have a football team.

Poor Valdosta has no chance in Hell in winning this Title Town USA competition but they, as a perdominantly High School only history, should be honored to be mentioned in the same breath as the other Cities listed on this report. Valdosta is the embodiment of the spirit of this award, winning at the most base level, but Cities like Boston and NY will win it all due to overpriced professional athletes with attitudes.

When is a Good Number Bad???

Fat Blood is what I have...
Got the call yesterday that my Cholesterol is good at 194, and this is my first time ever below 200.
Then I was told that my Triglycerides are at 330 and acceptable level is anything below 150.
Jesus.
Yeah right Doc, no bread, no sweets, no fatty foods whan an idiot. Who does he think he is talking to???
SO, last night I went to bed without eating dinner, today for lunch I am eating Wings!!! That's how I roll...

I thought Taco Mac had Expensive Beers....

WOW. InBev sweetened the deal and offered up a whopping $53Billion for Budweiser.... Damn, that's alot of money for beer...
They originally offered up $47Billion and got voted out, but adding $6Billion is a price I guess they could not pass up.... $6 Billion more... Damn...
It will be interesting to see what happens.

Death of a Legend...

Like him or not, Dr. I.M. Ibrahim was a Legend at Clemson. He was both Famous and Infamous around campus and the City of Clemson. He started the Clemson Soccer program from scratch in 1967 and he was very successful! From '72-'79 Clemson did not lose a game in the ACC (38-0-2). 19 ACC Championships from '67 to '94 and 2 NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS ('84 and '87). I was at the '87 National Championship game and it was AWESOME... He recruited remarkably, from all Jamaicans/Nigerians in 84 to All-Americans in 87 and beyond. It was amazing. Bruce Murray and Eric Eichman were 2 of the best players I have EVER seen play in person. Murray held the US National Teams scoring title for 10 years an was the fastest player with the ball I have ever seen. Wow...

On the down side, Ibrahim's temper was notorious across campus. I was friends with some of the Soccer Team, Jamie Roots, Edoo Boonstople, John Wolfe, etc were all friends of friends and they always told stories of how big an A-hole he was. I had the unfortunate dis-pleasure of having his Ex-Wife as a STAT301 teacher and she actually kicked a kid out of class for wearing Clemson Soccer t-shirt in her class. That bitch Failed me, I couldn't believe it, she was a nasty bitch - guess he rubbed off on her. His newer wife didn't fare much better - upon coming back from Charleston for the weekend in 1989 I stopped off in Columbia to wacth the Tigers play the Cocks. They actually beat us that year and after the game I was going to talk to some of the players and Ibrahim grabbed his wife by both bicepts and shook her and gritted his teeth and growled "Do not leave me, you stay right here." At least 2oo people saw this and some of his players just froze. I actually took a couple steps towards him, then he let go. I don't play that shit for anyone... What an ass.
His career ended one day when he actually punched one of his assistant coaches on the sidelines during a home game. That was the last straw - the players boycotted and he was gone.
All the while Ibrahim was compiling his Empire. From what I hear, he owned 1/2 of all downtown Clemson. Actually owning the buildings and collecting the rent would make anyone a wealthy man. He also had a Sports Clothing store chain that I heard he screwed suppliers and salesmen left and right. Coach could always be seen driving his Magnum P.I. red Ferrari 308 around town, then he upgraded to a Testarosa...

I pointed out quite a few negatives here but his work on the field speaks for itself.
Ibrahim's Legacy will live on and the Soccer Program can only aspire to meet it's previous glory. Sorry to hear about his passing. He really made a mark....

Vile Tile...

Well this weekend's home inprovement project was Tile in the kitchen. No, your humble narrator did not do the work, we actually paid to have it done. Nice guy, good worker, I have his # if anyone wants it....
Saturday I had all the prep work done, except the appliances. He came in and said, this will be easy. He had the entire floor laid by 5pm. Wow. Sunday was for grout. He knocked out the grout by 1pm. WOW...
I start cutting my 1/4 round and filling in some spots.
Wifey comes home and punches holes in the weekends accomplishments...
Jesus.
Yes there are opportunities but we saved money and time by having someone do it.
I will work towards fixing the the carpet and 1/4 round and all will be well.
Hopefully she won't want to tackle another MAJOR project for some time now.....
Wishful thinking.

Fun = Pain ; for the rest of my life....

Went to the Rhuematologist today, only to learn what I already knew - Your shoulders are degenerating and there is nothing that can be done about it....

What do you say when the Dr. tells you there is no hope???

His suggestion is to NOT do things that irritate my body...

• I have a bad knee, it swells when I play soccer - don't play soccer anymore.
• My shoulders hurt - don't play golf or lift heavy things.
• My right index finger hurts - don't pick your nose anymore (kidding)

I have been told before that the key to life is dealing with the pain... I originally thought this meant emotional pain, know I know it meant physical pain as well. We'll try the new anti-inflammatories and see what happens. Only good thing about today is that I learned that the meds I am on for the gout is way way too weak to do any good... Higher doses mean "Hello Steaks - I've missed you..." No wonder my blood pressure is way up...

Say goodbye to me now - I may not last much longer....

What Do You Call It???

Went to Summits Wayside Tavern last night on my way back from Valdosta. Picked up Money and proceeded to have some beers and wings.
In walks 4 women who look like fish out of water. They sit at the bar and choose to set up shop near us vs. the rest of the open bar. You can tell they were wound up and it doesn't take long for them to get up the guts to talk to us. blah, blah, blah, they had a baby shower and need to wind down, blah, blah, blah. We are watching the Braves.
Next the spokesman comes up with a piece of paper and says, we played this game at the shower and we have come up with 18 names for the male genatalia - can you add to the list? I bet you 2 cannot come up with more than 18 without re-naming one of our names. I look at their list and I see things like Dick, Penis, Wee Wee, Ding Dong and other amateurish names that a 7th grader would know. This futher solidifies that these women do not get out of the house much, and all are either married or divorced and may not have cable tv.
I ask them, are you sure you want me to do this? Yes, why? Because your list is pathetic I will blow your mind and possibly offend you with my list. Go for it....
It takes Money and I < 5 minutes to come up with 18 of our own and most of the time we spent laughing. All 4 of them turned red when reading my list aloud....
Their favorite: Man Relish Applicator

Awhile later they intentionally let us hear their conversation of "What's the difference between a one night stand and a booty call?"

Check Please!

It's good to be the King,

I like to brag too - but damn...

I read this quote yesterday, from Dan Patrick - whom just signed a deal with NBC to work with Keith Olberman and Chris Collinsworth on this years' Sunday Night Football games. Dan said: "Yeah, it pains me to watch SportsCenter now, it's like Brett Farve watching Aaron Rodgers play quarterback for the Green Bay Packers."

Ummm... Dan you were good, really good, but guess what happened when you left ESPN??? SportsCenter kept going - without you. You are replaceable, Olberman was replaceable, Charlie Stiner, of "follow me to freedom" commercial immortality, was replaceable, even Chris Berman has been replaced on SportsCenter - now he just annoys everyone during the 9 hours of pre-game NFL football coverage. Get over yourself Dan....

What will kill people is if Aaron Rodgers turns out to be a good quarterback. Tony Romo was a 3rd stringer and is now a starter and Tom Brady is the luckiest mofo in the NFL - he would have NEVER gotten a shot if Drew Bledsoe didn't get hurt. Now Brady is mentioned as the best QB of all time - I still call him clipboard.

Another Reason to Love ME....

This weekend we had our friend Sherri come up from Savannah. She doesn't stay with us becasue she travels with the dog and we are still picking up its hair from when it stayed with us over at Christmas time. So, she stays with the Corn's and Jackman, who is now 3 1/2.

We go over to the Corns on Friday for burgers and fireworks - the Roswell fireworks show can be seen from the enterance of their neighborhood. Well, JamCorn made a traditional Sangaria. I half heartedly paid attention and it was really good. As the night progressed we began talking about Saturday. Oh, ya'll wanna come swim at the pool and eat at our house.?. Oof. OK I will make arrangements.

I go to Kroger and spend 20 minutes in the produce aisle. I decide I am going to make a white Sangaria and it was wonderful!!! 1 Granny Smith Apple, 1 Red Delicious Apple, 2 oranges, 1 lime and about 25 white grapes cut in 1/2 (only problem is the grapes sink to the bottom) I bought a big ass bottle of Chablis and used about 2/3 of it in a gallon jug, 1/2 cup of Peach Schnapps, and 1/2 cup flavored vodka (I used 3 Olives - Berry, yum) Then finish off with some tonic water and chill and serve.... Yowza - that's a drink.

Ummm, a reason to hate me - today was prep work for the kitchen floor - tearing up the vinyl and scraping off the paper backing from the floor. I have cussed and complained all day but we are most of the way done.... I will be so happy when this is completed and the Kitchen will be DONE...

No Squealing For This Stuck Pig.....

So, I go to the Dr. for what I thought was going to be my last check on my knee... Well, I was mistaken. How's the knee? Hurts and swells every Monday after a game. Hmmm really-well we need to drain that fluid and get some x-rays.
(After all I have been thru and knee swellings I have seen over the years I have never had my knee drained)
The P.A. came in to drain my knee and he said, lay back and relax. Uh, nooo, I have never had my knee drained so I am going to watch. That made him nervous - Are you sure Mr. Lee? Do it Dr wannabe. This may hurt - are you sure...? Did you read my chart Skippy? I have broken most of the bones in my body, I can surly take this... Then I saw the needle....
Yowza. That needle was about a 3" needle thicker than an IV needle on a syringe that was 8" long and thick as shit... OK, here we go... STICK. It went all the way in and behind my patella (knee cap). He starts pulling out the plunger and here comes the liquid. Yuck... It is yella/blood colored. Ooof. 30cc's later he says we done...
Once he pulled out the needle my knee felt markedly better. I just don't want to do this every week. Emoryboy couldn't believe I sat up and watched the whole procedure without flinching or making a sound... I was gripping the hell out of the side of the gurney but it was just pain...
Dr came in and he told me things I didn't want to hear... Go see a Rheumatologist to see the level of arthritis I have. GREAT... I will make that call on Monday.

Dial-a-Shot - - Missed!

We have a little tradition amongst my friends that was started by the Langer on his world wide trips. When on vacation, no matter what time it is, Call ALL your friends and wake them up, tell them this is a Dial-a-Shot and make them go to the liquor cabinet and pour themselves a shot - do it - hang up and let them go back to bed. The Langer has called me from S.Africa, Australia, Poland, Brazil, China, and even good nights in Lake George.
I have repaid him and broadened the allure of this tradition by calling people when in Jamaica, Alaska, Key West and the like. Many a cuss word, upset wife/girlfriend and unanswered calls while building this tradition. When the call was answered at who knows what time - it would be amazing the number of people that did not want to play along. Few people would go get a bottle and do the shot with me.
(In the past I had kept a bottle of Black Haus in the freezer for just such an occasion.)
Now, when people go on vacaion, they tend to warn me - I am going to call you for a Dial-a-Shot, thinking that I will be offended... How could they offend me??? I sleep with the phone by the bed knowing that I get 10 wrong numbers a month looking for the Waffle House...
Any how, the Langer's brother - Big Pete- went on vacation to see his little brother in Lake George, NY. That is where Big Pete grew up and for whatever reason he does not go and visit- ever. He has taken his son, Little Pete, and wife this trip and the Langer told me people were coming out of the woodwork to welcome Big Pete back. Langer told me it would only be a matter of time before he got Big Pete back in the swing of Lake George = constantly drinking. Big Pete and them got there Wednesday - Big Pete called me last night at 11pm - this is the reason for the post.
Big Pete calls at 11pm and I can tell he is toasted, married with kid and a social drinker is no way to prepare your liver for Lake George. He calls and says "OK Kevin I am paying you back, this is me doing a Dial-a-Shot." I say, Pete its only 11pm. Shut up, its the bessss I cun du. OK I'm doing it, Aaaah, that's a fruity shot.... What Pete - did you do the shot? Yeahs, I called you. BUT you didn't give me time to get my own shot. Oh, Well I'us gotta go....
Poor guy didn't know how to do a Dial-a-Shot. He tried.... By Sunday it'll be 3:30am... Good for him for kicking the training wheels off.

Invaaaasionnnnn....

Picture this as being screamed by Ned Beatty in 1941...
Yep, it is happening - this weekend... The Mominlaw, sisinlaw1, sisinlaw3 and the Jag man.
Your humble narrator will be called on to be the: organizer, chauffeur, cook, designated drinker, coversationalist, and all around Great Guy. I will be exhausted by Sunday and will welcome breaking my leg in my soccer game OR breaking the sound barrier on my way to Valdosta on Monday...
This weekend should be fun - Almost as much fun as when I bit off the wart on my knee after 6 hours of shooting the hooch and then rubbing table salt into the gaping hole.

Sit and Swell...

Over the past 41 years I have learned alot about how the body works, how to read X-Rays (I have had plenty of practice) and how to 'somewhat' self-medicate myself out of pain and sickness. What I have never understood are the nagging injuries and such...

Sunday I played game #2 with the soccer boys. Didn't do as well this time, playing against KSU kids with the oldest being 23yrs old, we won but I attributed to one of their goals. Oops. Fuck those young kids.

Anyhow, knee was fine. I ran without knee pain - more like jogged. My brace wore the skin off the back of my knee but held up nicely. Yesterday was a day trip down south. The longer I sat in the car the more my knee began to swell. I don't understand why. Why would inactivity cause this? Got my last Dr. Appt later this week, we'll see what he says.

Hopefully this summer I will get this under control and then drop the spare tire. We'll see....

Quick Ocular Displacement....

Last night was R.E.M. at Lakewood. I was really looking forward to the show and was glad we went.

We missed the 1st opening act - The National, and caught all of the 2nd - Modest Mouse. Johnny Marr (ex-Smith's guitarist) has been with the band for almost 2 years and you could definitely tell his influence on their songs. What I didn't understand is why they wanted to add rock & roll banjo to their music - it didn't work. I have blogged many times that R&R banjo can be a very important and decisive instrument - when used correctly. This guy could not get off his "Johnny Reb" plucking and he never melded into the song. Sorry to be critical but leave the banjo home and your show will be more concised and flow. Back on Johnny Marr, is he part of the band or not? It was like the 5-6 members of Modest Mouse were all clustered together in a tight bunch of guitar, bass, keyboard, 2 drummers and singer; then, 30 feet away, was Johnny Marr, by himself, doing his thing. No drawn out solos, no true spotlight riffs, just him by himself. Weird... (I did like the 2 drummer concept, reminded me of old Adam Ant, Bow Wow Wow)

Michael and the boys came out and absolutely ROCKED... I will quickly admit that I was ashamed of myself for allowing REM's catalogue to have surpassed my memory... After Automatic for the People, I haven't bought a disc until their current Accelerate... They played alot I was unaware of, and alot of the old standbys and as always, what they didn't play stands out moreso than what they did.... They were good at mixing the old and the new... I had originally stated this was my 11th show but I actually think it was my 7th since I have not seen them live in 5 yrs. Yep, 7th. I missed Superman, Radio Free Europe, Finest Work Song, Everybody Hurts, Bang and Blame, and Catapult.

But, as always, during the encore Michael decided to give us his views on the upcoming election and bla, bla, bla. I could not believe the Boo's that were hurled his way... I didn't come here for to hear a lecture but I wasn't going to Boo... (I don't boo at Clemson games so I try not to boo at concerts). Anyhow The National have a T-Shirt with Obamma on it saying Mr. November and he wanted everyone to buy it... Whatever.... BUT Michael missed a golden opportunity to play "It's the End of the World As We Know It" after he told us all to vote for Obamma. That would have been Funny and True... We not all feel fine if this happens...

Good Show boys... I just hope they give The Modern Skirts they kind of props they gave Modest Mouse and The National when they are in Europe... This is The Modern Skirts big break.... Hopefully they will come home with a Record Deal and many many thousands of new fans... That would be good for those guys.... Kick Ass - Phillip, Jay, and the rest...

Best Cartoon Ever...

OK, After 2 years of blogging I still do not know how to add pictures or files or websites to my posts. I don't want a lecture from anyone but sometimes you have to visualize what I am saying...

Let me explain the Funniest Cartoon Ever....
- This is a 3 panel cartoon that has 2 stick figures in each panel
Panel 1: 1 stick guy says to the other: "I think you should stop drinking."
Panel 2: 2nd stick guy responds: "I think you should shut the fuck up!"
Panel 3: 2nd stick guy takes a drink from a bottle.

Awesome.... An instant classic....

Anti-Monkey Butt...

I just got home from a non-productive day on the road, I turn on ESPN and watch the final 3 minutes of Turkey v. Croatia and see the only 2 goals of the game, then the Turks pull it out in PK's. (I thought the Cro-ats were the best team in the tourny but I guess not)

Anyhow, SportsCenter came on afterward and they were giving us all the highlights. During the 2nd commercial break - I see a commercial I have never seen before.... ANTI-MONKEY BUTT POWER!!!! I swear, a man and his monkey were on the TV talking about powdering your behind...

OK, many of you are shaking your head but I have known about Anti-Monkey Butt Powder for some time now. For the big 41st birthday what do I get? You got it, Anti-Monkey Butt Powder. I laughed my shorts off when I got it but every time I go to Ace Hardware Store and see it on the counter I make a comment and the clerks always tell me that they sell out of this crap all the time. Truckers buy it by the case load to keep their hiney's baby bottom smoothe...

I love America and the Marketing whores we all are and want to be....

I guess Anti-Ass Pimple Powder was already taken...

Should I take the Wife on Tour???

Just surfing around tonight since I didn't die playing soccer, found out Tiger is in playoff and B-Ball game is over (the ref's colluded to get the much needed 6th game - just my opinion.)

Anyway, I Google: Flogging Molly
It's been a while since I checked on them. They are mid- world tour and checked out their dates...
HOLY SHIT....
They are plaing the House of Blues in N. Myrtle Beach on the last night of our Vacation - I have a time share in Garden City.... Hell Yeah!!! I will get the Rogman and Ms. Ravioli to go with us.
THEN they are in Columbia, SC that Saturday night
THEN Charlotte, NC on Sunday.

Looks like we might get to see 3 shows...

Now I have to sell this to the Wife....

Royale with Cheese....

I gotta move to Europe...
Not because of soccer....
Because of the metric system. I just figured my weight in Kilograms and don't feel so bad.
99kg doesn't sound so bad.

(OK who is the big dork that will do the conversion and post a comment and ruin my mojo?)

Euro 2008 views

I gotta say I have thoroughly enjoyed the coverage of Euro 2008 so far... They are doing it right, 2 games a day, every day. If this was in the US it would only be played on Friday nights (2 games) , Saturday, and Sunday (4 games each day). Then the rest of the week would be nothing. We don't have that here....

We always say College Football is a religion in the South, with most ACC, SEC, Big 12 schools having stadiums holding 70,000+ but you know who has the most die hard fanbase??? MEAC, Conf USA, Sun Belt conference fans. Why do I say that, because they play games when no one else wants to - and they have good crowds. They play on Tuesday and Wednesday nights just to get covered on ESPN U. That's dedication. (I did see that the Clemson v. Citadel game is being televised and will garner a 3:30pm kickoff- wow, thought for sure that would be a nooner.)

Back to Euro 2008. Now I am not saying that these Eurofags aren't taking dives all over the place but in International competition like this - there are no guys writhing on the ground, close to death and calling to have their legs amputated and having to be taken off on stretchers AND THEN miraculously back on the pitch running full speed 2 minutes later. There are guys diving all over the place but at least they are getting up and going back to playing.

It has also been awesome to see the traditional powers falling out early: France and Italy are both out before the round robbin stops. Germany got the shit beat out of them the other day. The Dutch are still doing well but I like seeing Croatia giving everyone a hard time. Good for them. Poor England missed out and didn't even make the field.

The US National team plays the Carribbean powerhouse of Barbados tonight... Geez. Jamaica plays the Bahamas today and the Bahamas has to play both their home and away games in Jamcaica since none of the fields in the Bahamas meets international FIFA standards - that's embarrassing. What're they smoking?

Another soccer note: Today I get back on the Pitch for the first time since November. Tonight starts the summer 7 v 7 league. This should be a good test of my knee but more telling will be my lungs. Jesus. I got on the scale today and I am officially bigger than I ever thought I would be. If I was 6'4" I would be the perfect weight, but 5'10 1/2" is a little chunky.
Played golf last weekend, walked 1.5 hours Wednesday night, and close to 3 miles yesterday. Exercise will have to start beating out the Chicken Wings. I have learned that I can live without exercising but cannot live without Chicken Wings.

Funniest Quote of US Open - and Opinions:

On Fridays' threesomes one group decided to all wear Orange. All very similar bright orange - a true Clemsonesque orange, not a washed out Tennessee orange. This threesome was Shingo Takashumi (sp) of Japan, Miguel Angel Jimenez of Argentina and Boo Weekly of Mississippi. The TV reporters could not get over their matching outfits and one chuckle head said "How did all 3 of them agree on that shade of Orange? None of them speak very good English." I laughed my shorts off. About a Month ago I heard Boo Weekly on the Jim Rome radio show and he was absolutely hilarious. Country as all get out but one of those country guys you gotta watch out for. His hillbilly act is a front for his golfing ability. If he fucks up, what the hell - I is from Missisisippi. If he does well, that's what you get for underestimating me... Not a bad position to be in. One of the funniest interviews I have ever heard. Gotta watch that guy...

By the way - Tiger is amazing...

When he bounced in that chip for birdie on 17 and kinda hid his face while he was chuckeling to himself. That was a moment that very few of us ever, EVER, get to experience. Even he was saying to himself "Holy Shit, did I really just do that." I have made a few miraculous golf shots, pool shots, soccer plays and they have all been PURE LUCK. Tiger knows he's good but he also realizes that he is lucky too.

2 month's after knee surgery is something but let's get beyond it. If he was truely not playing with a brace on - he is an idiot. I have played golf with a blown left ACL, I played 3 months after total reconstructive surgery (with no brace I may add - at Bobby Jones, one of the hilliest courses in ATL) but I did not walk the course. I don't have a problem walking a par 3 course but the last full course I walked was in 1994 and I swore I would never do it again. If I cannot afford a cart, I ain't going to play. Same as looking for balls, I will not play golf without 30 in my bag - ya' never know when you may need that many.

It would be amazing if Injury is what takes Tiger out of Golf. The 'what-if's' people will go nuts. Maybe this will be his excuse to ONLY play Majors, a ballsy move but what else does he need? He has more money than God... Beat Jack's # and relax.

Nike will pay for everything else.

I have been to the Summit - it's a Wayside Tavern!

Thursday I went into the office for a monthly visit and shot the shit with the coworkers. Started talking to my boss and he stated telling me about a cool new bar that i have got to check out. Big Wade doesn't travel too far outside of his Holly Springs "bubble" but he is usually right-on with his recommendations (Except for the Tavern on Bells Ferry - that place is scary).

Anyhow, he says - this bar has 150 beers on tap, 100 Vodka's, and growing to 300 wines by the glass. Kobe and Bison burgers and fantastic wings. Sounds wonderful right? I ask him the name: "Summit's Wayside Tavern"

No fuckin way Wade... We got a Summits in Town Lake??? I love Summits. He asks how I know Summits... Dude, tell Andy - the owner - I said hi, I wonder if Kevin will run this bar because Pete runs the Cumming location and the Snellville location is Andy's baby. Wade goes - so you know these guys... Hell yeah....

Summits Wayside Tavern had their original location on Roswell Rd in Sandy Springs, just 2 doors down from American Pie. In the Early 90's I practically lived at that Taco Mac. The Taco Mac corp did away with all their franchises and Andy said screw you guys and renamed his place Summit's Wayside Tavern - the Legend had been established. What a great place.... Ever since they closed the Roswell location me an Money would take 2 trips a year to Cumming. The Cumming bar has 250 beers on tap and I have toured the cooler, wow, what a line system.

I took the wife in there last night (for 1 beer, she had 1, I had 3) and Andy was there. Hey Kevin, you still work with JC Penney and do you still live in Greenville? No Andy, that was 1993. How often does your bartender remember your personal information from 15 years later.?

We will definitely be going there quite often. Eagle Drive is not that far away.... Hey, if I have my choice of where to drink $6 beers, I will go to Summits Wayside Tavern over Taco Mac every day. Already planning a work happy hour there for next Wednesday...

My New Favorite Color....

Cockkilla Vanilla

I heard this one today and almost pissed myself...
I gotta remember to bust this one out in November...
It's OK for you leghumpers to use it too....

...of course - I'll Do It... FUCK...!

Hey, I know what real work is. Just sometimes the opportunity cost of someone else doing the work vs. me doing the work comes into play. Yesterday was a slap in the face of reality.... Sometimes it's not worth it for other peoplet to do the work - in their opinion.

At 8am I had a Fence company come out and give me an estimate. We need a priviacy fence and since we have fences on 2 sides, all we need is wood across the back and the 2 sides next to the house. A total of 65 feet... Their quote was over $1300... WHAT??? That's $20 per foot... He explained that it was expensive because they have to pay the crew to come out there no matter what. I protest - they will be done in 3-4 hours. Exactly, I have to pay for the whold day because every job is considered a whole day... He also explained that if I were to call 10 fence companies and told them I had 65' to fence, most wouldn't even come over and give the quote since the job is so small. SO - It's up to me to set this fence. FUCK...

Last night me and the wife went to Home Depot and Floor & Decour to discuss the porcelain tile installation for the kitchen and 1/2 bathroom. The slap in the face comes - $7.50 per sqft for installation... JESUS.... Flour & Decour has classes every Saturday on how to do it... I guess I will ge going to class every weekend until i get comfortable enought to tackle this job. Again, we were told that our job is so small it is almost not profitable and that is why there is such a price tag... My issue is... I need my kitchen.... If this job is up to me, I will demo a Thursday and Friday I will get all my materials and start. If I work all night Friday, All day Sat, and All day Sun. I will be: 1) a miserable son of a bitch ready to bite everyone's head off, 2) one frustrated fuck chop because I will immediately think I will not be able to get it finished, 3) HUNGRY, I will have to move the fridge out of the kitchen so what will we do?

I cannot believe all this looks like it is falling on me... I got enough pressure on me with this new project at work. Some people think doing this type of stuff is fun.
Those people are idiots..........

Comes in 3's...

With all this Death talk I might as well mention a call from the Wanker yesterday. Earlier in the month he told me about a guy that used to play on our soccer team, Jon Howell. I only knew Jon thru soccer. When I moved to Charleston in 1998 he was on Wanker's team and I played 3 seasons, 18 months, on this team. 50% of the guys were our High School buddies so they knew all too well about how I played - my passion for playing, committment to winning and pure love for after game beers. Anyway, in our 2nd game I got taken out bigtime, some chucklehead took me out from behind and I got up raising hell and ready for a fight. This guy John gets in between me and this asshole and was ready to go in my stead. What??? John? Mr. Mild Manner... That's just how this guy was. Quiet, reserved, but loyal...
Billy called me about 2 weeks ago, said that John was playing in a Coed game in Mt. Pleasant and got tackled and sprained his ankle, he came out of the game, stood there for a minute and grabbed a teammate and said "I feel sick" got some water and said "I gonna puke, I gotta get out of here." and his teammate was walking with him to the parking lot and John drops to the ground and quits breathing. No oxygen to the brain for the 10-15 minutes it takes the ambulance to get there. They keep him on life support for about 14 days. Non-cancerous growth on the brain stem... Irreversible brain damage. Pull the plug.........
Nicest fucking guy in the world. Never intentionally hurt a fly without good damn reason. Excellent teammate and MAN.
There is NO rhyme or reason in life or in death.
Fucking sad...
One amazing thing I found was www.caringbridge.com. This is a website that families can add information to, pictures, guestbook, comments, blog, etc. for their loved ones. WOW... Really professional and really nice. Check Jon's out http://caringbridge.org/visit/jonhowell . In today's environment - this is how to do it. Shit, when I kick the bucket, do this for me and have my wake on YouTube....
Jon, the world is a worse place without you in it. I haven't seen the guy in 10 years but remember the impression he made on me. That was his mark. I wonder if he would have remembered me - most people do remember me but I am usually concerned (after the fact) of "what" they actually remember about me... Whether I am liked or loathed, I am normally remembered.
Jon left the same impression on everyone.... Heaven is an even better place now, everyone there will embrace Jon's spirit.

PS - I hope this is the LAST post I do on death for quite some time.

PPSS - Listening to Rush today an Auburn student said her Sr. Project was to describe, in great detail, her Funeral. Rush was totally taken aback at this assignment. His recommendation was not to detail the Funeral as if it were to happen tomorrow, write about the life you want and use it as a blueprint for how you want your life to go, then 60 years from now, detail whom will attend your funeral and how they are connected to your life. Interesting point. Dr. Wanda sent me a song by the (something) Allstars called "Keg on My Coffin" with the chorus of "Put a keg on my coffin, and think of me ever so often...." Great point... But that would be what I want tomorrow - what do I want 25 years from now...?

"Give the Governor a hurrrumph!"...

Sorry about last nights babbeling about death BUT let me continue... I wake up in Valdosta this morning and login and see that Harvey Korman has died...... Damn....

The death of actors and other public figures are different than family members and personal friends but it still has an effect on you.

I grew up watching the Carol Burnett Show and the skits with Harvey Korman and Tim Conway were EPIC... Korman was the first actor I ever saw actually break character and start laughing during a skit. There were times on the CB Show that I thought I would pee my pants from laughing so hard, and I look around at the family and Mom, Dad, and sis were all crying from the hysterical antics.

Korman was a legendary 2nd fiddle and straight man... He fit in perfectly in the Mel Brooks genre of films. Blazing Saddles and History of the World Part 1 are 2 of the funniest movies of ALL TIME.... "You look like the Piss Boy" ; "and you look like a Bucket of Shit!" High Anxiety had its moments...

He was underappreciated but I had no idea he was 81. What a legacy he has left us. Makes me want to hope for rain this weekend so I can slide these discs into the DVD player and pay my hommage...

Grieving..... Sucks..... and I have tips....

A guy I know, I consider a friend, whom is different than me but shares numerous same qualities - love of beer (me = PBR, him = bullet kegs of obscure micro brews), music (I prefer Alternative Rock but he prefers Broadway Musicals and the Modern Skirts) and college football (me= Clemson "Harvard of the South" University and him = U of Gay Leghumpers). Well, he just lost a Grandparent and is quite broken up. We are not "give me a call" kind of friends, but mainly communicate via the blogosphere. I gotta say I truely feel for this guy and know that he is going thru a ruff patch. He posted a blog video by Penn Gillette and Penn discussed his own loss of a parent and how he felt about it and how his friends responded and how he found solace in his Athiesm. Interesting viewpoint. Not that I condone or detract, just a different viewpoint than my own.
All I can say to my buddy is: Grieving Sucks. The feeling of loss is personal and indescribable since everyone is different. It's been 3 1/2 years since my Dad passed away and I think of it often. I was there, I watched him die and during the only 1 1/2 hours I left the house for 3 days (to pick up my aunt at the airport) is when he decided to die. All I can say is "What the Fuck?" and "Why".
My Faith and my friends got me through it. My Faith ( an interpersonal belief that there may be something bigger than me out there - yes I believe there is something out there that is bigger than me - and that there may be a better place than terestrial Earth) enabled me to comprehend the ashes to ashes piece of his death and my Friends enabled me to get through the day to day aspect of his death. My friends trumped the Preacher after the funeral - it was kinda crazy... The old ladies from the church showed up at my Mom's house with covered dishes and my friends showed up with 12packs...
I know he is hurting. There is nothing I can say to make that hurt go away. Penn says "it can never hurt any worse." I realize that it can... It never gets any better. I miss my Dad... I worked my ass off for years to gain his acceptance. I think I got it BUT I feel comfident that he would have approved of his "after funeral party" and toasts given in his honor back at the house. My friends helped me get thru Franks death and are currently helping me put perspective on my Mom's situation.
Russ, Grieving SUCKS. Tap that keg, call your established friend network, and work it out day after day. Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and selfishly working this thru for myself and my own issues with death.

On of my favorite movie lines of all time.... Clevon Little speaking to Gene Wilder in the movie "Blazing Saddles": "A man that drinks like that is sure to die" and Gene Wilder says: "When?"
Awesome...

I often think of my own death, not really how I am going to die, but what I wan to happen when I die.... The Wife hates it when I speak like this. I say Fuck It and I want everyone to have fun. It may initially suck with me gone from the world but the world WILL continue to turn. Have a good time... Celebrate the lives of the ones who are lost.... Bubba Foster got killed when I was a Freshman in HS and for years we used to stop by his gravesite and drink beers, and I never really knew the guy - but he saved my ass at Hannahan HS when me, Rog and Wanker almost started a RIOT... Death sucks... but it is a part of life... (It's terrible when Forrest Gump makes sense.)

Feel the Crashing Steel....

It's late, what am I still doing up??? Finding kool shit that will cause me to lose even more sleep....

Bouncing around the web tonight I decided to check out NIN.com to see about the free download but before I did that I checked to see if there were any old videos from Pretty Hate Machine, or Broken, only to find some kool ass collaborations of Trent and Peter Murphy... (of Bauhaus infamy)

They did a rehearsal session of The Normals', "Warm Leatherette" and all I can say is WOW... Blew me away. 90% of the people I have ever played that song for Hate It. They just have no fucking idea how important that song was to the Industrial movement in the 80's. I remember seeing the 12" of Warm Leaterette/TV O.D. selling for $120 at Bleeker Bob's record store in Greenwich Village in 1989... It is very rare.

The YouTube menu to the right also had Warm Leatherette covers by Duran Duran and Grace Jones. Interesting company.

Trent and Peter Murphy did many other songs but Joy Division's Dead Souls stood out. Trent singing on Bella Legosi's Dead was kool too.

I have to say that the Peter Murphy show I saw in the early 90's was in my Top 10 shows of all time for a very, very long time but I have had to bump him as the years have passed. Still incredible voice from such as small guy...

...a tear of petrol; runs through my veins. Warm Leatherette.


(It is really going to be good to see Trent again, just me and the wife, in August. We may need to leave the house tomorrow since the show is in Gwinnette... I fucking HATE that venue.)

Morant was a Breaker....

Damn what a Movie.....
It's 11pm last night and I wasn't ready to go to bed. I skim thru the channels and end up on 69, Turner Classic Movies, and I see a Military Band and some close captioning for a movie that was coming on. The captioning spoke of the Boer War...

No way... This is "Breaker Morant"

It must be 15 years since I have seen this movie. This is a GREAT movie about Australian soldiers fighting in the British Army vs. the Boers in South Africa in 1900. This group of officers are charged with murdering POW's during war time, even after orders were given to do so. They were renowned as the Scapegoats for the Empire and were subsequently sacrificed to appease the Germans (to keep them out of the War) and the Boers, to show that the British could prosecute their own - even if their inexperienced lawyer put up an incredible defense.

Wow. If you haven't seen it - try and find it... All I could think of was our soldiers in Iraq that are supposed to follow orders and stay alive and can often be called on to do things in the field that are unimaginable.

After the movie some guy from TCM comes on and explains that this movie was not even supposed to be released in the US (It is an Independent film from Australia about one of their folk hero's) but a US movie was scheduled at all these theaters and suddenly went back into editing. The Studio's freaked out and had no product to show in the movies and one guy had a frind in Australia and heard about this really well acted movie about a war that the US had no allegiance to, and this guy decided to roll the dice.... Come to find out, Breaker Morant was nominated for an Oscar in 1980 for best adapted screenplay. Ya never can tell...

Breaker Morant - watch it.

Watch your Job...

I just saw on SportsCenter that Chelsea's Manager just got Fired... WHAT? His team just came in 2nd in the Champions League to Manchester United - the first time ever 2 English teams have played in the Champions League Final. (Chelsea missed many opportunities - it surely was not the Managers fault that the players missed point blank chances, and missed the crucial PK.) This Manager also led Chelsea to a 2nd place finish in the English Premeir League (to Manchester United).

I guess this would be like Lloyd Carr, not beating Ohio St., Lou Holtz going 1-4 vs. Clemson (and one loss was 63-17), soon to be Steve Spurrier for not being able to beat Clemson as well, Mike Schula not beating Auburn, and the like.

The Premeirship is a bunch of pompus assholes but this firing is very surprising - I do not profess to know the ins and outs of why they did it but on the surface, this is CRAZY.

PS> Watch out Premeirship, Nottingham Forrest just got promoted to the First Division, in a few years they will be back with the Big Boys....

Learn, Responsibly....

Money offered up some extra Braves Tix yesterday. He has been going thru some of his own Hell so I wanted to spend some time with him. This weekend though my sis, bro-in-law and youngest Nephew were in town and were staying with broinlaw's parents in Powder Springs/Dallas/Acworth and I felt bad for the kid having to hang with the grand parents so I asked if I could take him to the game. No problem.

I drove and on the way we had our traditional cooler of beer and Solo cups. (Just a few pops on the way down) Well, I say to the kid- "Want one?" "Uh, sure" was the response. Pssock, here you go kid. "one and only one and you don't mention this outside the car." "Got it".

We drive down, raise hell about a variety of subjects and the kid just soaked it up, added a few burbs, and generally understood that he was just hanging out with his Unk and buddy. I think he had a great time, great game and probably his first beer. I come home and get a rash for this. Why.? I trust I haven't created a monster here....

PS. Kid's Grandparents live off of 92/Dallas Hwy just West of Hwy 41. The new Alatoona High School is on the South side of 92 and their neighborhood is on the North side of 92. Hwy 92 is the county line between Cobb and Paulding. Why would the brilliant people of Cobb County build a new HS on the County Line??? THis makes NO sense... That means they can only pull kids from the south AND the people in Paulding are stuck with lower property values for having a HS in the front of the neighborhood. During the planning sessions the Cobb County Commissioners would not listen to the people from Paulding County (who live closeset to the school) because they did not live in Cobb Co. This is bullshit and government in action. So, these people in Paulding could NOT send their kids to a brand new HS right across the street because it is in a different County... CRAZY... Belive me, with my job, I rely on County Commissioners to pass my applications and potentially upset their constituents but I have never, intentionally, tried to put a tower in a place of controversy. (OK, maybe 1 time when I wanted to put a tower 200' in front of the Mayor's house in Centerville, AL - but my Land Owner said -FUCK him, I live in the next town over.)

Might be worth it....

I just saw that Sean Kingston is performing at the opening night of the Atlanta Dream. I say, go to Phillips, drink $9 beers thoughout the entire game and then go see Kingston perform.

PS. The Dream is dead before they even begin.

Guess what I drank in Athens?

nothing.

Freaking Sand Bar was closed at 3:30pm on a beautiful Saturday afternoon...
No Jack and Coke Icee's for me...
Dammit.

Tracking down FRANK THE BEER MAN...

I have Money on a quest to find FRANK THE BEER MAN, formerly of the Savannah Sand Gnats. (Google FRANK THE BEER on Youtube and you will like what you see) He originally stated he would be working for the Reading Phillies this summer - we shall see.
If he is - I am planning on going to see him in August... I have a wedding to go to in Norristown, about 40 miles away and this would be a KOOL surprise for me and him.

If he is there I will call the Food and Beverage Manager and see if I can find out what section Frank is working so I can sit in his section. I would also tell him that I am coming >500 miles just to see Frank, not the gd Reading Phillies.

Thinking about getting some t-shirts made "I (heart) Frank - He has Beer"

I will also have to try and go to Pat's and get a Steak Wit (with cheez-wiz) Sandwhich.

Sweetwater = Sweet Water

Went over to the wharehouse district today for Happy Hour. Girl from work organized Money and Money's girl and I called Corny, and Big Bob came and some other people.
The place was PACKED... I guess $8 brings out the coeds - and their dogs....

The new summer beer - Road Trip is a good lighter summer beer and I had quite a few.

Got home before the wife even knew I went. Cooked her dinner and when it was getting done and needed to come off the grill, the arguement over the countertops ensued... Jesus C. She changed it up on me, she told me she did, she probably made a better decision than me but dangit, I didn't want a brown sink. (Why do I care?- I do all the cooking)

I fully expected a fight tonight but I thought it was going to be over going to Athens tomorrow. I guess she beat me to the fight and now there is probably no way we are going. No Jack Daniels and Cola Icee's for me tomorrow... I was sooooo looking forward to getting drunk and an ice headache from drinking alcoholic Icee's

I left the house around 10:45 and thought about going to see one of my oldest favorite local Atlanta bands - Magnapop - at The Earl. Got in the car and started listening to the Braves postgame and they explained about the I-75 roadwork Nbound at the connector. Fuck that. I did a u-turn. Now pouring my guts out here.

I don't understand why everyone just doesnt want to be happy? I do, I really do. I love to have fun.

I "think" I got Elephant Tix... Clemson v. Al

After getting home from the GT Baseball game it was around 5:40 and spare Clemson v. Alabama tix went on sale at 5. I wasn't in a hurry to get them since I have almost ZERO seniority in IPTAY. (I have been a consistent Fan but not a consistent contributor since graduation).

Well, I log in and the website takes my order for 4 tix. They are upper deck tix but who cares.

After a couple phone calls I find out that I am not guaranteed these Tix. They will take the applications and then evaluate them on IPTAY points. That is bullshit. We'll see. Clemson will probably invest my $ for 3 months and then decline my application.

Irons are in the Fire for Tix, even if I get mine I am trying to upgrade to the Lower Level then sell mine... I fully intend to sell my tix to Alabama fans so that they can sit in the Clemson section and get harassed as we whip some Elephant Ass.

Whipe My Ass and Wash My Clothes all you Roll Tide people....

PS... Satan and Saban are only 1 letter apart...

Tigers beat the N. Ave Trade School - I hear "ting" in my sleep

Spent Mother's Day in downtown ATL. Picked up G and girl after 11am (late because of the wife) we wanted to go to Lunch. Had Mimosa's on the way downtown. Tried to hit The Highlander to get some "tots" and we thought that there wouldn't be alot of Mother's there. It did not open until 12:30 since you cannot sell alcohol until then. Ended up at Apres Diem. Lunch was good.

We head to Geek Squad headquarters down on Ferst Dr. (Only Ga. Tech could misspell First). What a beautiful day. Money put on the SPF5000 and he was the only smart one. We stayed for the whole game and the Tigers put an ole fashioned ass whooping on the Yaller Jackoffs. We scored more runs by the 2nd inning than we did in the previous 2 games vs Gt. Final was 16-6 with 20 Tiger hits. I swear I was hearing TING in my sleep (aluminum bats and all).

Once we got home - Oow... The tops of my thighs are burned. Oof. Pants will need to be baggy today....

Responsibility comes with Age...

So I am trying to gear up for the big 4 1 but have kinda been in a funk. The buzz continues to be ruined by being responsible.

Friday my sis calls me and tells me momma has fallen and things aren't good. No broken bones but our confidence in her living alone is a topic of concern.

Monday is Dr.'s appt and I feel compelled to go... We'll see how that goes. Guess I am going to N. Chuck tomorrow... Will end up missing the Masters... Oh, well. I'll see the highlights on the SportsCenter.

I hope all goes well...

The Masters = Credit Check... WTF?!??!?!?!

Now this ain't right.... I thought to myself, instead of waiting for divine intervention and waiting for someone to "give" me Masters tickets I just decided to visit their website and see what is required to get tix...

Pretty much the site says that unless you are a member of the lucky sperm club you ain't going to get Thurs-Sun tix, but you can get on the mailing list for the practice round... All you have to do is send in your Name, Address, Phone #, E-Mail Address, and SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER.... What the Fuck? Those old, racist, bastards want your SSN... For What??? Why would they need this??? Could you expect to get a letter in the mail stating - You are Pre-Qualified to buy Master's Tix??? This is bullshit...

Or, will you get a letter stating: "Thank you for your application but since you were 60 days late paying on your Visa card in 2004 we regret to inform you that your application to attend the Master's has been denied..."

This is harsh...

Does anyone know a millionnaire that would email their information into the Masters for me??? I will buy the tix but may need your rich Uncle to qualify...

N.I.N. - you gotta be kidding me....

Two more points on how things have been going.

• Yesterday I paid waaay too much $ for R.E.M. tix at Lakewood and the seats aren't even covered - at least they are not in the grass.
• Today I discover Nine Inch Nails are back on Tour. They are in Atlanta on August 13th... Yea! Bad thing is it is a Wednesday at the Gwinette Center... FUCK ME.... I hate that damn place AND it will take 3 hours to get there in Rush Hour....

Such is my life...

(My big concern is that Trent may want to play songs off the new "Ghosts I-IV" album... Normally this would not be an issue but this is all instrumental. It sounds great, you can tell it is Trent but there is elements of Front Line Assembly and Front 242 prominently displayed.)

Life Metaphor -

I have been asked where I have been - why haven't I posted....

Here is my 2 metaphors for how my life has been going:

1. I found a grey pubic hair.... Rest assurred everything still works and Big Jim and the Twins perk up when the wind blows.
2. I was in a hotel in Valdosta about 2 weeks ago and they gave me a handicap accessible hotel room with a large bathroom, so I was taking a shit with no reading material and the door wasn't quite shut so it slowly swung open and right in front of the bathroom door is a full length mirror. I couldn't reach the door because it was a handicap accessible bathroom so I couldn't shut it, so I sat there and watched myself shit.

Both of these stories are disturbing - the 2nd a little more so - but it gives you and indication of how my life has been going...

Never underestimate the Opening Act....

Last night was FLOGGING MOLLY at the Tabernacle.... I LOVE the Molly and this was the 1st time they have played the Tabernacle. Money and I got there early, but not early enough to get seats on the 1st Balcony so we went uptop. Seats were still good, bar was close, we were ready to labor through the 2nd Opening Act but HOLY SHIT.... Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band came on... I was like, look at this Hillbilly but that was right before they began playing.... Rev Peyton is a big ol boy straight out of Appalachia and playing some bad ass Acoustic guitar, his wife is chunky, wearing a dress and combat boots, and plays Rock n Roll WASHBOARD. Yep, Washboard. Holy shit she was good. (This is my 2nd time seeing rock n roll washboard but she was awesome.) Rev Peyton's brother was the drummer. They fucking blew me away... I try and keep the O' Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack in my car and the Soggy Bottom Boys can't hold ther Reverend's jock strap....

By the way, Flogging Molly rocked the house like I knew they would. The place was packed, we were drinking, life was good. The Molly's new album was released on Tuesday but they did not play the whole thing. That was a pleasant surprise, because they played alot of back catalog stuff.

PS. When I got home, it was only like 12:00 I was starving so I thought I would cook myself a frozen pizza. I was awoken around 3am by the loud screeching of the fire alarm and the heavy smell of smoke... Yep. passed out with the oven on.... Jesus.... How stupid am I.?. The wife was furious... Today I sprayed an entire can of Lysol in the house and it is much better...
No more drinking and baking............

Happy Anniversary to a new love and an old one....

Last Sunday me and Money went down to the wharehouse district and attended the 11th Anniversary for Sweetwater Brewery... We had a damn blast. This was really kool. Very much smaller than I thought but for $8 we got a pint glass and 8 drink tickets... Yeee Haw... The Happy Ending is not my favorite but damn, what a punch. I hadn't previously been a 420 fan but I am a big fan now... (on a side note, the port-o-johns there have to be the nicest, cleanest and best smelling I have ever been to....)
I think we will be spending quite a few Friday Happy Hours here this summer.

Tomorrow night is the 50th Anniversary for WSBF-FM Clemson.... Yep the 10 Watt station that used to be carried thru the electrical sockets of Johnstone has expanded to 6000Watts and I was a minor player in what it is today. Tomorrow night is a banquet and should be fun. I hope I see some old friends there but it will be nice just to be back at Clemson.

Wasted War Prep Opportunity....

I read this story in USA Today last Friday and it has bothered me ever since... It was in the small section were all the states are listed and I read the Georgia snipit...

It seems that Ft. Benning GA is being overrun by feral pigs. The base commander is allowing the public to come onto their base and pay them $40 for every pig killed...

What the Hell? They are paying the Public to kill pigs...? This is crazy. I do not know if the soldiers are in Iraq right now but I am sure there are at least 1000 soldiers on base and this should be their job.... My rationale is that at least 50% of all soldiers probably have never killed anything before joining the military, so, it is very difficult to teach someone how to KILL something. Anyone can hit a target, can you hit a running pig, or a rag head at full sprint? This would have been a great opportunity for the Military to train these men to become killers. They could see the damage that an M-16 round does, and they could deal with the aftermath. Therefore, when they do go to Iraq - they can kill without feeling...
My other issue is - why the hell would the Military allow the Public to come onto their base with a Gun. That is a Federal Offense normally. I guess it is OK for Billy Bob and his 12 gauge to come on base but Habib with an AK47 is bad...
Crazy.

Oh No, Mr. Spock...

I know Leonard Nimoy has continually wanted to distance himself from his Star Trek fame - BUT what I saw tonight disturbed me greatly.

Stephen Colbert had Nimoy on to discuss his new photography book - "The Full Body Project". This is a book of pictures of Fat Chicks!!! He tries to pose the plumpers in reinactments of famous artwork - but why? There is no "ART" in that.... I am sure that there are plenty of people that will enjoy the BBW pix but I saw more tonight on Comedy Central than I ever care to.
Am I a pig for saying that???
Maybe - but Damn, go sign some autographs an put on you pointed ears to make some cash instead of showing the public this....

PS... His justification for this book was that American women are ashamed of their bodies and young girls today are choosing oral sex vs regular sex because they are ashamed of their bodies. My response- so what... the guy still goes home happy and he will still talk shit about her to his friends... Nothing changes.... What a disturbing view he has in his senility. Dr. McCord was right- "I'm a Doctor not a Psychiatrist."

Politics bothers me...

OK, we know that the inexperienced and unproven Obama and Monica's ex-boyfriend's wife are going to fight until the end. Isn't that a given? Question is: will he pimp slap her like she needs to be? I bet Bill slips out the N word and ruins the whole thing... No matter what - neither will allow the other be their running mate - I think they truely hate each other.

On the Republican side... Why did Romney quit? Was that because he knew that McCain and Huckabee teamed up against them in the primarys. At least that is what the talk show guys say. Romney was/is independently wealthy and from Mass. He should have been able to stick it out and fight. Instead, McCain and Huckabee seem to be in cahoots. If that is the case, that is bullshit. Everyone said, before Romney quit, that Huckabee was playing for VP. If that happens, that type of collusion is very suspect. AND, if that is all he wants, why are they still wasting our $$$ by still running these campaigns? That is what I don't understand. I think there should be a Cap on campaign spending. I bet the Republican Party would not allow Huckabee to give up and take the VP nod because Politics are big business. IF McCain is the best we can do - God Help us...

Say hello to 30 million new citizens, say goodbye to $3.00 oil prices (it'll be $7.00 soon enough), and the new foe will be the Russians. Crazy.

Damn Tarholes.....

Well, it's official. We set an NCAA record tonight: 53 straight losses to UNC @ Chapel Hill. 53... Jesus... We laid an Egg in Double Overtime tonight. It wasn't until OT that we MADE our 1st FT. That kind of playing will never get us over the hump. I love Oliver P but damn... We have good players but this was/needed to be the year. Mays is gone, Hammonds is gone and except for Booker, we don't have the talent to get over them hump - unless we have some studs coming in. I heard we have signed a 7 footer- that can be good or bad...
Dammit.

Don't wanna leave-don't wanna stay...

It's early Sunday morning and I am dreading packing up the car and the 5 hr drive home.

What a weekend. Since the Dr would not release me to ski, I didn't make it farther outside than the edge of the porch. I would poke my head out a couple times a day just to breathe some fresh air but I didn't feel the need to bundle up and actually go anywhere.

The house was great. 5 br, nice kitchen that was open to a big dinner table and living room, down stairs was the game room- pool, foosball, Golden Tee, Bar game, and a Multicade that looked like a Galaga machine but it had about 30 1980's genre video games (pacman, space invaders, donkey kong) Needless to say everyone spent numerous house playin stupid video games. The more alcohol the more cursing involved.

Food was plentiful and scrumptious. My Jambalaya on Friday night was the BOMB. (If I do say so myself). The drinks flowed and flowed and flowed.

I think we have found our new destination. There were some bumps in the weekend but many would say it was/is up to me to get over myself but why should I? I wanted to have a GREAT vacation, it ended up OK....

Blow This Rock....

Well, tomorrow we leave for the yearly ski trip. After $100 for Liquor and Beer and $100 for food we should sure as shit have everything we need. I cannot wait to turn this damn phone OFF for 3 days.

Blowing Rock here we come...

Washington Apples and Granny Smith Apples are the Shot Du Jour for this trip. I also found PINK vodka. This is vodka infused with caffine and guarana. This should be good. Got my Sailor Jerry (overproof spiced rum) and my Appleton Rum (Jamaica's own), my Old Grand Dad 114 Proof is to be cherished late night - neet on the balcony. Bottle of Grand Mariner is a staple, I even brought the Cherry Three Olives Vodka, the Grape and Rasberry bottles are almost empty. I have a 12 of Stella A., 18pk of Coors Light 16oz, 12 pk PBR, 12pk Miller Lite 16oz and a 12 pk Old Milwalkee. 2 bottles of wine. Some Rock Stars and assorted mixers.
All this should last us at least to Saturday. I don't know though.

Jambalaya is on the menu for Friday night, compliments of your humble narrator... Mine is a mix of Jambalaya and Creole and should be FABULOUS. Shrimp, Andouille sausage, ham, corn, peas, green n red peppers, onion, mushroom and couple cans of Rotel all cooked in some Rice, with Jalopeno for spice. Yuuuummmmm.

I have marshmellows and hotdogs to be roasted on the fire - I even have telescoping forks to hold said marhmellows and hotdogs on. (looks like a 2 prong fork on the end of a car antenna)

The wife is excited, so am I. I wish I could ski but getting away and doing nothing has it's own regenerative effects.

The Haves keep Having...

"The Poor always being fucked over by the rich, always have, always will."... spoken to Charlie Sheen in Platoon. True dat...

I just turned on ESPN2 First Take and they had a story about Providence University's 1/2 time event at last nights basketball game. During 1/2 time a Providence Sophomore was taken out of the crowd to take a 1/2 Court Shot for a chance to win a Nissan Sentra.

He hit the shot - good for him... A NEW CAR!!!

In the interview it is discovered that this kid is on the Providence Golf Team (and probably on scholarship) AND when asked "What do you drive now?" Kid says an Audi A8. The ESPN reporter didn't know what to say so he says this: "So, you won a lesser car - good for you. No offence Nissan."

ESPN should have done some pre-work here.
Not such a "feel good" story now...

On This Day - ALL HAIL BEER!!!!

Got a call tonight that I didn't think was accurrate so I did some Googling. Come to find out it was correct.

On January 24, 1935 the first canned beer came off the production line for Krueger Brewing Company, with the help of the American Can Company....

Only 73 years??? Seems like yesterday...

Trips me out that in old movies the actors actually use a pointed can opener to open the beer and then poke a 2nd (smaller) hole on the other side to allow air flow...
The wife still laughs at me because I remember pull tabs on beer and Cokes... That is a trip too. My Billy Beer cans have pull tabs...

I think I will go downstairs and celebrate this momentus event in the evolution of alcoholism.

Roast This..... Get a Fucking Grip - WWJD?

Have your heard this one??? Dana Jacobson, of ESPN's First Take or Cold Pizza or whatever they hell they call it now, is suspended for 1 week for the comments she made during the roast of Mike & Mike in the Morning. She said F%&k Jesus and F%&k Notre Dame, while swilling Belvidere Vodka and directing these comments to Charlie Weis. It was a ROAST. What are you supposed to say at a ROAST.
Some points:

• Freedom of Speach - whether she is Jewish or not the F bomb on the Son of God is tacky but fully protected under the 1st Ammendment.
• Code of Conduct - was she on the clock from ESPN when she made these comments? Probably not. Was she representing ESPN when making these comments? Or was she merely invited there because she is a colleague and knows them personally? If she went as a friend, there should be no issue. I doubt she was wearing an ESPN t-shirt or name badge so they should let it go.
• Alcohol Policy - if she was a closet Alcoholic she should sue ESPN for enableing her by providing alcohol at a company sponsored event. If it was not a company sponsored event, who should give a shit.
• Lord's Prayer - Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. God'll forgive her (or maybe she will burn in Hell) and the church representatives have accepted her apology.
• GD ND - Notre Dame was aweful this year and have been the brunt of numerous jokes all year. She went to Michigan, a rival of ND. She, like myself, can't stand these fuckers, their team, their fans nor their holier than thou persona. ND fans always state that everyone else is jealous, there is some of that to be said but there are just some teams you do not like ND, Ohio St., Gamecocks, Gators to name a few....

Lastly:

• Bad Judgement- This was MIKE AND MIKE for chrissakes. WHO FUCKING CARES!!! Mike Greenberg is Jewish, not sure if Mike Golic is but damn. Who can stomach listening to these chuckle heads anyway. She should be FIRED for even being associated with these dipshits. They are aweful. The funnyest thing about them is some of the commercials they did but their radio show is aweful!!!!

What the hell is going on at ESPN anyway? Cold Pizza was a cool name for a show and they change it. Woody Paige was taken off as a special guest because he and Jay Crawford (Dana's co-host and pussy Ohio St fan, not grad) were named in a Sexual Harassment Lawsuit brought on by a makeup woman that worked on the show. I guess ESPN approves of that but not the F bomb. ESPN did fire one reporter for getting drunk at a party and pissing out a window - onto the police no less - the night before the Super Bowl about 6-7 years ago. (I think that is how the story went.)

One other question I have on this: Is she hot or not? How big is she really? Is she huge/ with a nice face? ESPN has bent over backwards for her over the years because I have been watching this show for 3+ years and I still am asking myself these questions. Because of this ESPN should and does hold the cards. When she comes back from suspension they should shoot her from the ground up wearing bright colors with horizontal stripes and embarass her to the point she quits.

I am writing all of this while watching an episode of South Park where they spoof Hillary Clinton having a nuclear bomb up her snatch... All this and Dana can't throw out the F' bomb.

Dead Gunrunners in good neighborhood

is how i wish the headlines read. Silly me. I gotta realize that my old neighborhood ain't that nice no more... Last week there was a double homicide at the park in the back of my neighborhood. A man, from Hollywood, SC, and woman from West Ashley were found dead and their car, containing $60,000 worth of weapons (Rifles and handguns) was pushed into the woods. NICE... Just what the chuckleheads in my neighborhood need -more guns.

My mother and her next door neighbor walk past this park between 4-6 times a week. Luckily they walk between 6 and 7am so the hoodlums are still sleeping off their malt liquor and ganja buzzes and healing from their most recent gangsta tattoo... Also they walk this early because, said gangsta's, pitbull has not been let out to pee / feed yet. Hopefully, old lady flesh is not what they are after...

Not good... My mom refuses to move. She is stubborn this way. Alot happens around her but not to her. That is how it needs to remain.

2 Tears in a Bucket - miss chablis

Quote "I wanna go see the Bucket List, I heard it was good, you laugh and you cry. I wonder why?"
Response "You mean because they die at the end?"
Snippy "Dammit, don't tell me the ending - you just ruined it."
Response "Ummmm, the movie is called the Bucket List, about doing things in your life before you die - operative word "die". What do you think happens?"

This conversation has been stuck in my head for a week. I chuckle every time...

This week will be 27 Bridesmaids Dresses. I wonder what that movie is about???? Hmmm, being a Bridesmaid?

Other Obvious to some - not to others:
Sin City = Sin
Total Recall = Remembering your Past
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels = scumbags
Platoon = group of Army guys
Star Wars = Intergalactic Civil War
E.T. = martian
Read the title - it helps.....

I love UCLA - not the school, stupid...

Funniest anecdote from yesterday was learning a new acronym:

U.C.L.A.

This describes where I live.
Upper Cobb, Lower Acworth.

That Shit is Funny.

We conquored Athens....

It has been 19 years since I have been to Athens, Ga. This weekend the wife's Hippiechik lil sister was moving up there and had asked to "borrow" some furniture. I have the new SUV so I said sure I can pack all this up and bring it over, just tell me when.

When was Saturday. But to preface the story, I got a call on Friday from the Langer from Lake G, NY, he was in town. I mentioned that I was going to Athens and he says, I'm in. I met up with Money for Happy Hour at his house Friday and told him the Langer was IN and he says he was too.... HOLY SHIT, Us in Athens...

I packed up the SUV, got Money, got the Langer and got on 285... Where are the Road Soda's? the voice of unreason came from the back seat. We stop off on 85 someplace and stand infront of the QT cooler for 15 min, Eenie, meenie, miney, mo- what to buy. Of course we come up with Michelob Light (For the Winners!) some Solo cups and a pack of gum. The damn 12er doesn't last long. We get to Hippiechik's apt and she and my fath-in-law, bro-in-law, and other sis were already gone - it was 5pm and they didn't wait for us to show. (Come to find out the Hippiechik had a date in Sav so "the affairs of state must take precedence over the affairs of state.) We got her key, unloaded and said, time to start drinking.

We started at 5:15 at Tasty World. They were open but looked at us (1 40 yrold and 2 late 30's guys) like we were aliens. There wasn't another person in the bar and it pained the girl (she looked like Long Duck Dong's girlfriend in 16 Candles) to get us a pitcher. We knew it was "early" but damn...

From there we went to the Globe. It looked cool from the outside but wasn't. Menu was lacking and I needed some food. Couple beers later we go to Cutters. Now That place is Kool... Kool crowd, bartender with a personality (even though she looked like a pink haired fire hydrant) Beers and shots of American Honey (Honey flavored Wild Turkey) YUMmmmmm!!!! The whole time I was in Cutters I kept thinking of Riding a bicycle in the "Littel 500" and the Sesame Street t-shirt with Cookie Monster laying in a pool of blood with a razor blade next to him and cuts on his arms with the caption Cookie Cutter,...

From there we went into the custom T-Shirt shop that looked very SoHo, very NYC. Music blaring, multi pierced teenage girls singing Yeah,Yeah,Yeahs tunes. We buy T-shirts. (We wanted air brush t's but they didn't have the talent) Money walks out with a the dial going to 11. The Langer gets the old stand by "I'm with Stupid" with a finger pointing, and I get the Live Fast -Die Young skull and xbones with my own caption at the bottom "Does Not Apply To Me"

From there we make it to Picante's since TransMetroSexualMotamia had a line out the damn door. We get a Burrito, beers and shots of Patrone/Wabo/Cuervo. We watch some of the game and move on.

Next was Cartel or the Chamber, or something with a C and alot of ironworks inside. This place was cool. Bartenders were cool, Dj was good but I expected to hear some drumnbass, house, downlo, music but he was busting Deep Purple and ACDC. Whatever. Beers, Shots, the Lander had He-brew beer - Messiah Bold... Tasted like a hippie, not Jesus... That place was kool.

It got to be 11:30 and it was time to get in the same area code. We limp back to the ATL and I fend off requests for the Pink Pony and Mardi Gras and make it to Marlow's on Chastain. (Brand New joint -same as its Vinings brother) Walk in and I know the Bartender. Dude got us backstage at NIN concert at Lakewood 6 yrs ago and a freaky experience at Foo Fighters PPV taping at the Tabernacle. We have beers and shots and endure one of the worstest guitar/singer dudes I have ever heard. Beers, and shots. They close. Time for Jimmy Mac's on Canton, near Money's house. The Langer switches to a double Johnny Walker Black then does Jaeger... Ooof... He disintegrated before our very eyes. Money got DENIED at Karioke - that's funny to get denied, especially at Jimmy Mac's... We stumble back to Money's. Break out the Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemmonade. THe Langer spikes his 1/2 Bacardi, 1/2 Mikes. Jesus. I have to make sure he can walk down the stairs to get him to the car to bring him to my house.

We talked till after 4am. It was a long day. AND a GREAT DAY. We couldn't have done more in less time with better friends than was done today.

Even Sports Illustrated gets it....

Everyone that meets me know where my allegiance lies. I have not been to many "other" college football games other than Clemson games over the years. I have seen the Tigers play in 5 states and have enjoyed 'em all. I have seen USC lose to Furman and The Citadel actually beat their opponent because they had Stump Mitchell. So you can see my verbage can be biased BUT a Sports Illustrated writer came to Clemson and was in awe... He gives Clemson #1 in SETTING and #2 in EYE CANDY... Sometimes the game is secondary....

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/sioncampus/01/02/tailgate.awards/index.html

Go Tigers!

I don't wanna be the Dome's Bitch!

It's taken me 5 days to even mention the New Year's Eve debacle at the Georgia Dome. We allowed Auburn to come back on us, then we had to scramble, then we go to Overtime. 1st Overtime in Peach Bowl history - and what do we do? Kick a FG!!! Tommy B showed balls and went for it on 4th down in the 4th Q. Good for him BUT Tubbyville went for it on 4th Down in OVERTIME. His dick proved to be bigger than ours. He played to win, we played not to lose in OT. If Tubbyville's 4th down play didn't work - everyone from Wartigereagles country could respect his decision in going for the win - that is a win/win situation.

We are left licking our wounds - again. I hate to be a hater but "Wait 'till next year" is a USC slogan, I do not want to adopt it for our own.... I hope the Athletic Dept burns all the "Finish the Job" t-shirts they had printed. Obviously, we did not finish anything.

How do we start off 2008? Yesterday the Atlanta Sports Council announced that Clemson will kick off the season August 30th at the Georgia Dome by playing the Tuscaloosa Toiletpaperdetergentelephants... Satan, I mean Saban, no, I mean Satan had an open date and was willing to play a game at a neutral site.

This is our first time playing the Toiletpaperdetergentelephants since 1966. Of course we have a dismal record against them, and they actually looked good as a 6-6 team vs. another 6-6 team in their bowl game.... We did not look like a 9-3 team! We did not look like our QB should be even mentioned for any awards, our LB's (the freshmen that were forced into service since the starters were too stupid to pass their exams) did not play well. I wonder what will happen here.

The dome has not been friendly to us, I think we are 2-2. The tickets should be a split and it will be interesting to see how equal that is. Fans should be whipped into a frenzy during the off season. If Davis return, Spiller is there, Harper heals his shoulder, Kelly gains 15 pounds, and Jacoby Ford wins the NCAA 100m Dash, we will be looking good on paper. That could all change on the air conditioned field of the Ga. Dome. (I see this as the only positive - air conditioning, a game played in August that does not require SPF500)

We gotta beat ' Bama! If we don't the blow out home wins we will get against The Citadel and South Carolina State, won't hold much water... YEP, 2 DII schools.... NICE SCHEDULING... Ohio State made it to the BCS with a shitty schedule BUT they are Ohio St. a consistent powerhouse. Playing 2 DII schools is not how you get into the back door.

All I can say is- Clemson needs to play 14 games this year... Whatever that record may be but 14 games needs to be the goal.... ACC Championship Game is a must this year....