Blow This Rock....

Well, tomorrow we leave for the yearly ski trip. After $100 for Liquor and Beer and $100 for food we should sure as shit have everything we need. I cannot wait to turn this damn phone OFF for 3 days.

Blowing Rock here we come...

Washington Apples and Granny Smith Apples are the Shot Du Jour for this trip. I also found PINK vodka. This is vodka infused with caffine and guarana. This should be good. Got my Sailor Jerry (overproof spiced rum) and my Appleton Rum (Jamaica's own), my Old Grand Dad 114 Proof is to be cherished late night - neet on the balcony. Bottle of Grand Mariner is a staple, I even brought the Cherry Three Olives Vodka, the Grape and Rasberry bottles are almost empty. I have a 12 of Stella A., 18pk of Coors Light 16oz, 12 pk PBR, 12pk Miller Lite 16oz and a 12 pk Old Milwalkee. 2 bottles of wine. Some Rock Stars and assorted mixers.
All this should last us at least to Saturday. I don't know though.

Jambalaya is on the menu for Friday night, compliments of your humble narrator... Mine is a mix of Jambalaya and Creole and should be FABULOUS. Shrimp, Andouille sausage, ham, corn, peas, green n red peppers, onion, mushroom and couple cans of Rotel all cooked in some Rice, with Jalopeno for spice. Yuuuummmmm.

I have marshmellows and hotdogs to be roasted on the fire - I even have telescoping forks to hold said marhmellows and hotdogs on. (looks like a 2 prong fork on the end of a car antenna)

The wife is excited, so am I. I wish I could ski but getting away and doing nothing has it's own regenerative effects.

The Haves keep Having...

"The Poor always being fucked over by the rich, always have, always will."... spoken to Charlie Sheen in Platoon. True dat...

I just turned on ESPN2 First Take and they had a story about Providence University's 1/2 time event at last nights basketball game. During 1/2 time a Providence Sophomore was taken out of the crowd to take a 1/2 Court Shot for a chance to win a Nissan Sentra.

He hit the shot - good for him... A NEW CAR!!!

In the interview it is discovered that this kid is on the Providence Golf Team (and probably on scholarship) AND when asked "What do you drive now?" Kid says an Audi A8. The ESPN reporter didn't know what to say so he says this: "So, you won a lesser car - good for you. No offence Nissan."

ESPN should have done some pre-work here.
Not such a "feel good" story now...

On This Day - ALL HAIL BEER!!!!

Got a call tonight that I didn't think was accurrate so I did some Googling. Come to find out it was correct.

On January 24, 1935 the first canned beer came off the production line for Krueger Brewing Company, with the help of the American Can Company....

Only 73 years??? Seems like yesterday...

Trips me out that in old movies the actors actually use a pointed can opener to open the beer and then poke a 2nd (smaller) hole on the other side to allow air flow...
The wife still laughs at me because I remember pull tabs on beer and Cokes... That is a trip too. My Billy Beer cans have pull tabs...

I think I will go downstairs and celebrate this momentus event in the evolution of alcoholism.

Roast This..... Get a Fucking Grip - WWJD?

Have your heard this one??? Dana Jacobson, of ESPN's First Take or Cold Pizza or whatever they hell they call it now, is suspended for 1 week for the comments she made during the roast of Mike & Mike in the Morning. She said F%&k Jesus and F%&k Notre Dame, while swilling Belvidere Vodka and directing these comments to Charlie Weis. It was a ROAST. What are you supposed to say at a ROAST.
Some points:

• Freedom of Speach - whether she is Jewish or not the F bomb on the Son of God is tacky but fully protected under the 1st Ammendment.
• Code of Conduct - was she on the clock from ESPN when she made these comments? Probably not. Was she representing ESPN when making these comments? Or was she merely invited there because she is a colleague and knows them personally? If she went as a friend, there should be no issue. I doubt she was wearing an ESPN t-shirt or name badge so they should let it go.
• Alcohol Policy - if she was a closet Alcoholic she should sue ESPN for enableing her by providing alcohol at a company sponsored event. If it was not a company sponsored event, who should give a shit.
• Lord's Prayer - Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. God'll forgive her (or maybe she will burn in Hell) and the church representatives have accepted her apology.
• GD ND - Notre Dame was aweful this year and have been the brunt of numerous jokes all year. She went to Michigan, a rival of ND. She, like myself, can't stand these fuckers, their team, their fans nor their holier than thou persona. ND fans always state that everyone else is jealous, there is some of that to be said but there are just some teams you do not like ND, Ohio St., Gamecocks, Gators to name a few....

Lastly:

• Bad Judgement- This was MIKE AND MIKE for chrissakes. WHO FUCKING CARES!!! Mike Greenberg is Jewish, not sure if Mike Golic is but damn. Who can stomach listening to these chuckle heads anyway. She should be FIRED for even being associated with these dipshits. They are aweful. The funnyest thing about them is some of the commercials they did but their radio show is aweful!!!!

What the hell is going on at ESPN anyway? Cold Pizza was a cool name for a show and they change it. Woody Paige was taken off as a special guest because he and Jay Crawford (Dana's co-host and pussy Ohio St fan, not grad) were named in a Sexual Harassment Lawsuit brought on by a makeup woman that worked on the show. I guess ESPN approves of that but not the F bomb. ESPN did fire one reporter for getting drunk at a party and pissing out a window - onto the police no less - the night before the Super Bowl about 6-7 years ago. (I think that is how the story went.)

One other question I have on this: Is she hot or not? How big is she really? Is she huge/ with a nice face? ESPN has bent over backwards for her over the years because I have been watching this show for 3+ years and I still am asking myself these questions. Because of this ESPN should and does hold the cards. When she comes back from suspension they should shoot her from the ground up wearing bright colors with horizontal stripes and embarass her to the point she quits.

I am writing all of this while watching an episode of South Park where they spoof Hillary Clinton having a nuclear bomb up her snatch... All this and Dana can't throw out the F' bomb.

Dead Gunrunners in good neighborhood

is how i wish the headlines read. Silly me. I gotta realize that my old neighborhood ain't that nice no more... Last week there was a double homicide at the park in the back of my neighborhood. A man, from Hollywood, SC, and woman from West Ashley were found dead and their car, containing $60,000 worth of weapons (Rifles and handguns) was pushed into the woods. NICE... Just what the chuckleheads in my neighborhood need -more guns.

My mother and her next door neighbor walk past this park between 4-6 times a week. Luckily they walk between 6 and 7am so the hoodlums are still sleeping off their malt liquor and ganja buzzes and healing from their most recent gangsta tattoo... Also they walk this early because, said gangsta's, pitbull has not been let out to pee / feed yet. Hopefully, old lady flesh is not what they are after...

Not good... My mom refuses to move. She is stubborn this way. Alot happens around her but not to her. That is how it needs to remain.

2 Tears in a Bucket - miss chablis

Quote "I wanna go see the Bucket List, I heard it was good, you laugh and you cry. I wonder why?"
Response "You mean because they die at the end?"
Snippy "Dammit, don't tell me the ending - you just ruined it."
Response "Ummmm, the movie is called the Bucket List, about doing things in your life before you die - operative word "die". What do you think happens?"

This conversation has been stuck in my head for a week. I chuckle every time...

This week will be 27 Bridesmaids Dresses. I wonder what that movie is about???? Hmmm, being a Bridesmaid?

Other Obvious to some - not to others:
Sin City = Sin
Total Recall = Remembering your Past
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels = scumbags
Platoon = group of Army guys
Star Wars = Intergalactic Civil War
E.T. = martian
Read the title - it helps.....

I love UCLA - not the school, stupid...

Funniest anecdote from yesterday was learning a new acronym:

U.C.L.A.

This describes where I live.
Upper Cobb, Lower Acworth.

That Shit is Funny.

We conquored Athens....

It has been 19 years since I have been to Athens, Ga. This weekend the wife's Hippiechik lil sister was moving up there and had asked to "borrow" some furniture. I have the new SUV so I said sure I can pack all this up and bring it over, just tell me when.

When was Saturday. But to preface the story, I got a call on Friday from the Langer from Lake G, NY, he was in town. I mentioned that I was going to Athens and he says, I'm in. I met up with Money for Happy Hour at his house Friday and told him the Langer was IN and he says he was too.... HOLY SHIT, Us in Athens...

I packed up the SUV, got Money, got the Langer and got on 285... Where are the Road Soda's? the voice of unreason came from the back seat. We stop off on 85 someplace and stand infront of the QT cooler for 15 min, Eenie, meenie, miney, mo- what to buy. Of course we come up with Michelob Light (For the Winners!) some Solo cups and a pack of gum. The damn 12er doesn't last long. We get to Hippiechik's apt and she and my fath-in-law, bro-in-law, and other sis were already gone - it was 5pm and they didn't wait for us to show. (Come to find out the Hippiechik had a date in Sav so "the affairs of state must take precedence over the affairs of state.) We got her key, unloaded and said, time to start drinking.

We started at 5:15 at Tasty World. They were open but looked at us (1 40 yrold and 2 late 30's guys) like we were aliens. There wasn't another person in the bar and it pained the girl (she looked like Long Duck Dong's girlfriend in 16 Candles) to get us a pitcher. We knew it was "early" but damn...

From there we went to the Globe. It looked cool from the outside but wasn't. Menu was lacking and I needed some food. Couple beers later we go to Cutters. Now That place is Kool... Kool crowd, bartender with a personality (even though she looked like a pink haired fire hydrant) Beers and shots of American Honey (Honey flavored Wild Turkey) YUMmmmmm!!!! The whole time I was in Cutters I kept thinking of Riding a bicycle in the "Littel 500" and the Sesame Street t-shirt with Cookie Monster laying in a pool of blood with a razor blade next to him and cuts on his arms with the caption Cookie Cutter,...

From there we went into the custom T-Shirt shop that looked very SoHo, very NYC. Music blaring, multi pierced teenage girls singing Yeah,Yeah,Yeahs tunes. We buy T-shirts. (We wanted air brush t's but they didn't have the talent) Money walks out with a the dial going to 11. The Langer gets the old stand by "I'm with Stupid" with a finger pointing, and I get the Live Fast -Die Young skull and xbones with my own caption at the bottom "Does Not Apply To Me"

From there we make it to Picante's since TransMetroSexualMotamia had a line out the damn door. We get a Burrito, beers and shots of Patrone/Wabo/Cuervo. We watch some of the game and move on.

Next was Cartel or the Chamber, or something with a C and alot of ironworks inside. This place was cool. Bartenders were cool, Dj was good but I expected to hear some drumnbass, house, downlo, music but he was busting Deep Purple and ACDC. Whatever. Beers, Shots, the Lander had He-brew beer - Messiah Bold... Tasted like a hippie, not Jesus... That place was kool.

It got to be 11:30 and it was time to get in the same area code. We limp back to the ATL and I fend off requests for the Pink Pony and Mardi Gras and make it to Marlow's on Chastain. (Brand New joint -same as its Vinings brother) Walk in and I know the Bartender. Dude got us backstage at NIN concert at Lakewood 6 yrs ago and a freaky experience at Foo Fighters PPV taping at the Tabernacle. We have beers and shots and endure one of the worstest guitar/singer dudes I have ever heard. Beers, and shots. They close. Time for Jimmy Mac's on Canton, near Money's house. The Langer switches to a double Johnny Walker Black then does Jaeger... Ooof... He disintegrated before our very eyes. Money got DENIED at Karioke - that's funny to get denied, especially at Jimmy Mac's... We stumble back to Money's. Break out the Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemmonade. THe Langer spikes his 1/2 Bacardi, 1/2 Mikes. Jesus. I have to make sure he can walk down the stairs to get him to the car to bring him to my house.

We talked till after 4am. It was a long day. AND a GREAT DAY. We couldn't have done more in less time with better friends than was done today.

Even Sports Illustrated gets it....

Everyone that meets me know where my allegiance lies. I have not been to many "other" college football games other than Clemson games over the years. I have seen the Tigers play in 5 states and have enjoyed 'em all. I have seen USC lose to Furman and The Citadel actually beat their opponent because they had Stump Mitchell. So you can see my verbage can be biased BUT a Sports Illustrated writer came to Clemson and was in awe... He gives Clemson #1 in SETTING and #2 in EYE CANDY... Sometimes the game is secondary....

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/sioncampus/01/02/tailgate.awards/index.html

Go Tigers!

I don't wanna be the Dome's Bitch!

It's taken me 5 days to even mention the New Year's Eve debacle at the Georgia Dome. We allowed Auburn to come back on us, then we had to scramble, then we go to Overtime. 1st Overtime in Peach Bowl history - and what do we do? Kick a FG!!! Tommy B showed balls and went for it on 4th down in the 4th Q. Good for him BUT Tubbyville went for it on 4th Down in OVERTIME. His dick proved to be bigger than ours. He played to win, we played not to lose in OT. If Tubbyville's 4th down play didn't work - everyone from Wartigereagles country could respect his decision in going for the win - that is a win/win situation.

We are left licking our wounds - again. I hate to be a hater but "Wait 'till next year" is a USC slogan, I do not want to adopt it for our own.... I hope the Athletic Dept burns all the "Finish the Job" t-shirts they had printed. Obviously, we did not finish anything.

How do we start off 2008? Yesterday the Atlanta Sports Council announced that Clemson will kick off the season August 30th at the Georgia Dome by playing the Tuscaloosa Toiletpaperdetergentelephants... Satan, I mean Saban, no, I mean Satan had an open date and was willing to play a game at a neutral site.

This is our first time playing the Toiletpaperdetergentelephants since 1966. Of course we have a dismal record against them, and they actually looked good as a 6-6 team vs. another 6-6 team in their bowl game.... We did not look like a 9-3 team! We did not look like our QB should be even mentioned for any awards, our LB's (the freshmen that were forced into service since the starters were too stupid to pass their exams) did not play well. I wonder what will happen here.

The dome has not been friendly to us, I think we are 2-2. The tickets should be a split and it will be interesting to see how equal that is. Fans should be whipped into a frenzy during the off season. If Davis return, Spiller is there, Harper heals his shoulder, Kelly gains 15 pounds, and Jacoby Ford wins the NCAA 100m Dash, we will be looking good on paper. That could all change on the air conditioned field of the Ga. Dome. (I see this as the only positive - air conditioning, a game played in August that does not require SPF500)

We gotta beat ' Bama! If we don't the blow out home wins we will get against The Citadel and South Carolina State, won't hold much water... YEP, 2 DII schools.... NICE SCHEDULING... Ohio State made it to the BCS with a shitty schedule BUT they are Ohio St. a consistent powerhouse. Playing 2 DII schools is not how you get into the back door.

All I can say is- Clemson needs to play 14 games this year... Whatever that record may be but 14 games needs to be the goal.... ACC Championship Game is a must this year....