Sign of the Apocalypse....

Well... It's hard for me to watch the dismal performance of the Atlanta Braves over the last couple days. Blowing 5 run leads in consecutive games over the weekend almost killed me. Now, with the trade of Tex, you can tell they have practically given up and taken the montra of "wait till next year."

While watching Sports Center today I see that the Kansas City Royals have a better record than the Braves... Wow... How far we have sunk....

Are we going to have to re-live the 1980's again??? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if ticket prices go down to $4 for outfield seats... Ah, the good old days: cheap seats and no expectation of winning. We would go to watch Dale Murphy and Phil Neikro but knew something would happen to cause them to lose. My first 23 Atlanta Braves games were all LOSSES...

Congrats to Valdosta....

As you have been able to figure out over they years - I have no idea what I am talking about. 2 posts ago I gave Valdosta, Ga no chance in Hell in winning ESPN's Titletown USA but guess what???

They WON....

Good for them....

I just got back from Winnersville and when I was in the Lowndes County Planning Commission meeting on Monday the Commission's Chairman kept referring to Valdosta as Titletown USA and I just thought he was trying to be funny. Little did I know they had announced it to the town a few days prior. WOW, little Valdosta Georgia has incredible national exposure.

Interesting talk radio points today was about getting DII Valdosta State Univ to take the steps and go up to DI and try to get into the Southern Conference and play the likes of Georgia Southern, the Citadel, etc... I could not believe the people that called in NOT wanting this... CRAZY...

Doddamn Yellow Jackets....

I usually reserve this headline for football / basketball but this tirade is directed at the Devil possessed poison infused evil fucking flying kamikazi dive bombing stinging mother fuckers that got after me today...
The wife wants the upper part of our back yard raked and cleaned up. To get there you have to go up on the side of the fenceline to bypass all the juniper. Well, I have been going thru an on going battle with the Kudzu up there and I am slowly winning but today - revenge was enacted. I was up there raking and pulling up all the kudzu an trying to get thru all the mulch that has collected over the last 50 years. I found a big Kudzu rootsystem and start hacking at it with my Fiskar's axe. (Those freaking Dutch/Swedes make an awesome axe) Anyhow, buzz buzz buzz and beeeeoooowww, muthafuka, I start flailing my arms and skeedaddling out of there with my right thigh on fire. I slap down on my shorts and kill that little bastard... I got him but he sure as hell got me... Outside of my right thigh is killing me. Feels like a golfball is inside my leg and the skin won't stretch. Just uncomfortable as hell..
I need a cigarrette so I can take the tobacco and moisten it and make an indian poultice but I forgot to get one from the soccer boys... Yes, I played in my game tonight and it allowed me to take my mind off of it.
Just because I am not dead from an allergic reactions doesn't mean I don't still hurt...
So I spent $27 on yellow jacket traps, and sprays that shoot 20 feet... They'll regret taking a bite out of me.

Invasion of the Land Snatchers....

My job requires me to do things that I am uncomfortable with. Not that they are bad things but sometimes they are outside my comfort zone. I am usually amazed that when my gumption gears up and I make the cold call - I am continually surprised at how easy my job is... Like Nike says - "Just Do It".

Well one of my projects has been putting some pressure on me for one of my sites but I have come up empty on all my attempts to make contact with a small church in Norcross. They have no phone number listed, no information when doing a Google search, No mailbox, no other indicators on their marquee out front.

Last Wednesday I got my gumption up and I decided to go to their Wednesday night service, but it didn't start until 7pm, so the marquee says. I drive around for a while and pass the church at 6pm and the gates aren't opened, 6:15 another pass and still locked, 6:30 same thing, 6:45 and still no one there and gates are locked. By 6:55 I decide that God must have had the night off.

With that failed attempt, what was left? Yup, Sunday Service. It took me a solid HOUR to get there on a Sunday and I got there right at 10am. Do I go in or do I sit cowardly in my car? You got it - I sat in my car. I was sitting there beating myself up and a woman pulls up in her Ford Ranger truck, complete with hunting rifle in the gun rack and Georgia bumper stickers all over. She gets out and finishes her cigarrette. (She reminded me of Marge Simpson's sisters.) I approach her as graciously as possible and even apologize for my intrusion. I ask her for a way to contact someone/anyone from the church and she was nice enough to give me the Head Deacon and Preacher's #'s. Then she asks what this is about. What i want to do cannot be explained correctly in 1-2 sentences so I give her an overview and she goes nuts. "You have alot of nerve coming here on a Sunday Morning." "Ma'am, I didn't know how else to get in touch with anyone." "You should be ashamed of your self, this is a place of worship!" as she snatches my cards out of my hand and growls "Wait till I tell Dad about this." (I deduce the Head Deacon is her father)

This encounter really upset me for the rest of the day. Did what I had to do, failing was not an option here, and I felt guilty.

This morning, at 8:15, I call the Head Deacon, apologize for the encounter with his daughter by explaining that she misconstrued my intent. I gave him my speil and he is definitely interested. He asked some good questions and gave me some work to do to answer them but I feel they are in. Why was his daughter such a bitch? I no longer feel bad about what I did - I am actually going to help this little church, that happens to be located on prime real estate...

Good for Them BUT They have NO CHANCE IN HELL.

I watched SportsCenter this morning to see the Valdosta, GA installment of Title Town USA.

Since I have been traveling to Valdosta for the past year for work, I have grown to like that little town. The Sports Center piece did not do justice to this little town affectionately known as "Winnersville, USA"...

They had some nobody NFL player on to talk about the History of Valdosta Football but he went to Lowndes H.S., the cross town rival who did NOT win a State Championship while at Lowndes.

What I would have done is get a Mayor or Senator or Congressmen to plead their case. They should have come out and said that Valdosta H.S. was so dominant in the 80's that they had to split the school in 1/2. I would focus on the fact that now both schools have to travel hundreds of miles to play schools in Atlanta and Florida to get the right amount of competition since the surrounding areas are not competitive. I would have focused on the College and Professional Athletes that have come from this town. I would have mentioned Valdosta State winning the DIII National Championship and how quickly they have done it because they used to not have a football team.

Poor Valdosta has no chance in Hell in winning this Title Town USA competition but they, as a perdominantly High School only history, should be honored to be mentioned in the same breath as the other Cities listed on this report. Valdosta is the embodiment of the spirit of this award, winning at the most base level, but Cities like Boston and NY will win it all due to overpriced professional athletes with attitudes.

When is a Good Number Bad???

Fat Blood is what I have...
Got the call yesterday that my Cholesterol is good at 194, and this is my first time ever below 200.
Then I was told that my Triglycerides are at 330 and acceptable level is anything below 150.
Jesus.
Yeah right Doc, no bread, no sweets, no fatty foods whan an idiot. Who does he think he is talking to???
SO, last night I went to bed without eating dinner, today for lunch I am eating Wings!!! That's how I roll...

I thought Taco Mac had Expensive Beers....

WOW. InBev sweetened the deal and offered up a whopping $53Billion for Budweiser.... Damn, that's alot of money for beer...
They originally offered up $47Billion and got voted out, but adding $6Billion is a price I guess they could not pass up.... $6 Billion more... Damn...
It will be interesting to see what happens.

Death of a Legend...

Like him or not, Dr. I.M. Ibrahim was a Legend at Clemson. He was both Famous and Infamous around campus and the City of Clemson. He started the Clemson Soccer program from scratch in 1967 and he was very successful! From '72-'79 Clemson did not lose a game in the ACC (38-0-2). 19 ACC Championships from '67 to '94 and 2 NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS ('84 and '87). I was at the '87 National Championship game and it was AWESOME... He recruited remarkably, from all Jamaicans/Nigerians in 84 to All-Americans in 87 and beyond. It was amazing. Bruce Murray and Eric Eichman were 2 of the best players I have EVER seen play in person. Murray held the US National Teams scoring title for 10 years an was the fastest player with the ball I have ever seen. Wow...

On the down side, Ibrahim's temper was notorious across campus. I was friends with some of the Soccer Team, Jamie Roots, Edoo Boonstople, John Wolfe, etc were all friends of friends and they always told stories of how big an A-hole he was. I had the unfortunate dis-pleasure of having his Ex-Wife as a STAT301 teacher and she actually kicked a kid out of class for wearing Clemson Soccer t-shirt in her class. That bitch Failed me, I couldn't believe it, she was a nasty bitch - guess he rubbed off on her. His newer wife didn't fare much better - upon coming back from Charleston for the weekend in 1989 I stopped off in Columbia to wacth the Tigers play the Cocks. They actually beat us that year and after the game I was going to talk to some of the players and Ibrahim grabbed his wife by both bicepts and shook her and gritted his teeth and growled "Do not leave me, you stay right here." At least 2oo people saw this and some of his players just froze. I actually took a couple steps towards him, then he let go. I don't play that shit for anyone... What an ass.
His career ended one day when he actually punched one of his assistant coaches on the sidelines during a home game. That was the last straw - the players boycotted and he was gone.
All the while Ibrahim was compiling his Empire. From what I hear, he owned 1/2 of all downtown Clemson. Actually owning the buildings and collecting the rent would make anyone a wealthy man. He also had a Sports Clothing store chain that I heard he screwed suppliers and salesmen left and right. Coach could always be seen driving his Magnum P.I. red Ferrari 308 around town, then he upgraded to a Testarosa...

I pointed out quite a few negatives here but his work on the field speaks for itself.
Ibrahim's Legacy will live on and the Soccer Program can only aspire to meet it's previous glory. Sorry to hear about his passing. He really made a mark....

Vile Tile...

Well this weekend's home inprovement project was Tile in the kitchen. No, your humble narrator did not do the work, we actually paid to have it done. Nice guy, good worker, I have his # if anyone wants it....
Saturday I had all the prep work done, except the appliances. He came in and said, this will be easy. He had the entire floor laid by 5pm. Wow. Sunday was for grout. He knocked out the grout by 1pm. WOW...
I start cutting my 1/4 round and filling in some spots.
Wifey comes home and punches holes in the weekends accomplishments...
Jesus.
Yes there are opportunities but we saved money and time by having someone do it.
I will work towards fixing the the carpet and 1/4 round and all will be well.
Hopefully she won't want to tackle another MAJOR project for some time now.....
Wishful thinking.

Fun = Pain ; for the rest of my life....

Went to the Rhuematologist today, only to learn what I already knew - Your shoulders are degenerating and there is nothing that can be done about it....

What do you say when the Dr. tells you there is no hope???

His suggestion is to NOT do things that irritate my body...

• I have a bad knee, it swells when I play soccer - don't play soccer anymore.
• My shoulders hurt - don't play golf or lift heavy things.
• My right index finger hurts - don't pick your nose anymore (kidding)

I have been told before that the key to life is dealing with the pain... I originally thought this meant emotional pain, know I know it meant physical pain as well. We'll try the new anti-inflammatories and see what happens. Only good thing about today is that I learned that the meds I am on for the gout is way way too weak to do any good... Higher doses mean "Hello Steaks - I've missed you..." No wonder my blood pressure is way up...

Say goodbye to me now - I may not last much longer....

What Do You Call It???

Went to Summits Wayside Tavern last night on my way back from Valdosta. Picked up Money and proceeded to have some beers and wings.
In walks 4 women who look like fish out of water. They sit at the bar and choose to set up shop near us vs. the rest of the open bar. You can tell they were wound up and it doesn't take long for them to get up the guts to talk to us. blah, blah, blah, they had a baby shower and need to wind down, blah, blah, blah. We are watching the Braves.
Next the spokesman comes up with a piece of paper and says, we played this game at the shower and we have come up with 18 names for the male genatalia - can you add to the list? I bet you 2 cannot come up with more than 18 without re-naming one of our names. I look at their list and I see things like Dick, Penis, Wee Wee, Ding Dong and other amateurish names that a 7th grader would know. This futher solidifies that these women do not get out of the house much, and all are either married or divorced and may not have cable tv.
I ask them, are you sure you want me to do this? Yes, why? Because your list is pathetic I will blow your mind and possibly offend you with my list. Go for it....
It takes Money and I < 5 minutes to come up with 18 of our own and most of the time we spent laughing. All 4 of them turned red when reading my list aloud....
Their favorite: Man Relish Applicator

Awhile later they intentionally let us hear their conversation of "What's the difference between a one night stand and a booty call?"

Check Please!

It's good to be the King,

I like to brag too - but damn...

I read this quote yesterday, from Dan Patrick - whom just signed a deal with NBC to work with Keith Olberman and Chris Collinsworth on this years' Sunday Night Football games. Dan said: "Yeah, it pains me to watch SportsCenter now, it's like Brett Farve watching Aaron Rodgers play quarterback for the Green Bay Packers."

Ummm... Dan you were good, really good, but guess what happened when you left ESPN??? SportsCenter kept going - without you. You are replaceable, Olberman was replaceable, Charlie Stiner, of "follow me to freedom" commercial immortality, was replaceable, even Chris Berman has been replaced on SportsCenter - now he just annoys everyone during the 9 hours of pre-game NFL football coverage. Get over yourself Dan....

What will kill people is if Aaron Rodgers turns out to be a good quarterback. Tony Romo was a 3rd stringer and is now a starter and Tom Brady is the luckiest mofo in the NFL - he would have NEVER gotten a shot if Drew Bledsoe didn't get hurt. Now Brady is mentioned as the best QB of all time - I still call him clipboard.

Another Reason to Love ME....

This weekend we had our friend Sherri come up from Savannah. She doesn't stay with us becasue she travels with the dog and we are still picking up its hair from when it stayed with us over at Christmas time. So, she stays with the Corn's and Jackman, who is now 3 1/2.

We go over to the Corns on Friday for burgers and fireworks - the Roswell fireworks show can be seen from the enterance of their neighborhood. Well, JamCorn made a traditional Sangaria. I half heartedly paid attention and it was really good. As the night progressed we began talking about Saturday. Oh, ya'll wanna come swim at the pool and eat at our house.?. Oof. OK I will make arrangements.

I go to Kroger and spend 20 minutes in the produce aisle. I decide I am going to make a white Sangaria and it was wonderful!!! 1 Granny Smith Apple, 1 Red Delicious Apple, 2 oranges, 1 lime and about 25 white grapes cut in 1/2 (only problem is the grapes sink to the bottom) I bought a big ass bottle of Chablis and used about 2/3 of it in a gallon jug, 1/2 cup of Peach Schnapps, and 1/2 cup flavored vodka (I used 3 Olives - Berry, yum) Then finish off with some tonic water and chill and serve.... Yowza - that's a drink.

Ummm, a reason to hate me - today was prep work for the kitchen floor - tearing up the vinyl and scraping off the paper backing from the floor. I have cussed and complained all day but we are most of the way done.... I will be so happy when this is completed and the Kitchen will be DONE...