No Squealing For This Stuck Pig.....

So, I go to the Dr. for what I thought was going to be my last check on my knee... Well, I was mistaken. How's the knee? Hurts and swells every Monday after a game. Hmmm really-well we need to drain that fluid and get some x-rays.
(After all I have been thru and knee swellings I have seen over the years I have never had my knee drained)
The P.A. came in to drain my knee and he said, lay back and relax. Uh, nooo, I have never had my knee drained so I am going to watch. That made him nervous - Are you sure Mr. Lee? Do it Dr wannabe. This may hurt - are you sure...? Did you read my chart Skippy? I have broken most of the bones in my body, I can surly take this... Then I saw the needle....
Yowza. That needle was about a 3" needle thicker than an IV needle on a syringe that was 8" long and thick as shit... OK, here we go... STICK. It went all the way in and behind my patella (knee cap). He starts pulling out the plunger and here comes the liquid. Yuck... It is yella/blood colored. Ooof. 30cc's later he says we done...
Once he pulled out the needle my knee felt markedly better. I just don't want to do this every week. Emoryboy couldn't believe I sat up and watched the whole procedure without flinching or making a sound... I was gripping the hell out of the side of the gurney but it was just pain...
Dr came in and he told me things I didn't want to hear... Go see a Rheumatologist to see the level of arthritis I have. GREAT... I will make that call on Monday.

Dial-a-Shot - - Missed!

We have a little tradition amongst my friends that was started by the Langer on his world wide trips. When on vacation, no matter what time it is, Call ALL your friends and wake them up, tell them this is a Dial-a-Shot and make them go to the liquor cabinet and pour themselves a shot - do it - hang up and let them go back to bed. The Langer has called me from S.Africa, Australia, Poland, Brazil, China, and even good nights in Lake George.
I have repaid him and broadened the allure of this tradition by calling people when in Jamaica, Alaska, Key West and the like. Many a cuss word, upset wife/girlfriend and unanswered calls while building this tradition. When the call was answered at who knows what time - it would be amazing the number of people that did not want to play along. Few people would go get a bottle and do the shot with me.
(In the past I had kept a bottle of Black Haus in the freezer for just such an occasion.)
Now, when people go on vacaion, they tend to warn me - I am going to call you for a Dial-a-Shot, thinking that I will be offended... How could they offend me??? I sleep with the phone by the bed knowing that I get 10 wrong numbers a month looking for the Waffle House...
Any how, the Langer's brother - Big Pete- went on vacation to see his little brother in Lake George, NY. That is where Big Pete grew up and for whatever reason he does not go and visit- ever. He has taken his son, Little Pete, and wife this trip and the Langer told me people were coming out of the woodwork to welcome Big Pete back. Langer told me it would only be a matter of time before he got Big Pete back in the swing of Lake George = constantly drinking. Big Pete and them got there Wednesday - Big Pete called me last night at 11pm - this is the reason for the post.
Big Pete calls at 11pm and I can tell he is toasted, married with kid and a social drinker is no way to prepare your liver for Lake George. He calls and says "OK Kevin I am paying you back, this is me doing a Dial-a-Shot." I say, Pete its only 11pm. Shut up, its the bessss I cun du. OK I'm doing it, Aaaah, that's a fruity shot.... What Pete - did you do the shot? Yeahs, I called you. BUT you didn't give me time to get my own shot. Oh, Well I'us gotta go....
Poor guy didn't know how to do a Dial-a-Shot. He tried.... By Sunday it'll be 3:30am... Good for him for kicking the training wheels off.

Invaaaasionnnnn....

Picture this as being screamed by Ned Beatty in 1941...
Yep, it is happening - this weekend... The Mominlaw, sisinlaw1, sisinlaw3 and the Jag man.
Your humble narrator will be called on to be the: organizer, chauffeur, cook, designated drinker, coversationalist, and all around Great Guy. I will be exhausted by Sunday and will welcome breaking my leg in my soccer game OR breaking the sound barrier on my way to Valdosta on Monday...
This weekend should be fun - Almost as much fun as when I bit off the wart on my knee after 6 hours of shooting the hooch and then rubbing table salt into the gaping hole.

Sit and Swell...

Over the past 41 years I have learned alot about how the body works, how to read X-Rays (I have had plenty of practice) and how to 'somewhat' self-medicate myself out of pain and sickness. What I have never understood are the nagging injuries and such...

Sunday I played game #2 with the soccer boys. Didn't do as well this time, playing against KSU kids with the oldest being 23yrs old, we won but I attributed to one of their goals. Oops. Fuck those young kids.

Anyhow, knee was fine. I ran without knee pain - more like jogged. My brace wore the skin off the back of my knee but held up nicely. Yesterday was a day trip down south. The longer I sat in the car the more my knee began to swell. I don't understand why. Why would inactivity cause this? Got my last Dr. Appt later this week, we'll see what he says.

Hopefully this summer I will get this under control and then drop the spare tire. We'll see....

Quick Ocular Displacement....

Last night was R.E.M. at Lakewood. I was really looking forward to the show and was glad we went.

We missed the 1st opening act - The National, and caught all of the 2nd - Modest Mouse. Johnny Marr (ex-Smith's guitarist) has been with the band for almost 2 years and you could definitely tell his influence on their songs. What I didn't understand is why they wanted to add rock & roll banjo to their music - it didn't work. I have blogged many times that R&R banjo can be a very important and decisive instrument - when used correctly. This guy could not get off his "Johnny Reb" plucking and he never melded into the song. Sorry to be critical but leave the banjo home and your show will be more concised and flow. Back on Johnny Marr, is he part of the band or not? It was like the 5-6 members of Modest Mouse were all clustered together in a tight bunch of guitar, bass, keyboard, 2 drummers and singer; then, 30 feet away, was Johnny Marr, by himself, doing his thing. No drawn out solos, no true spotlight riffs, just him by himself. Weird... (I did like the 2 drummer concept, reminded me of old Adam Ant, Bow Wow Wow)

Michael and the boys came out and absolutely ROCKED... I will quickly admit that I was ashamed of myself for allowing REM's catalogue to have surpassed my memory... After Automatic for the People, I haven't bought a disc until their current Accelerate... They played alot I was unaware of, and alot of the old standbys and as always, what they didn't play stands out moreso than what they did.... They were good at mixing the old and the new... I had originally stated this was my 11th show but I actually think it was my 7th since I have not seen them live in 5 yrs. Yep, 7th. I missed Superman, Radio Free Europe, Finest Work Song, Everybody Hurts, Bang and Blame, and Catapult.

But, as always, during the encore Michael decided to give us his views on the upcoming election and bla, bla, bla. I could not believe the Boo's that were hurled his way... I didn't come here for to hear a lecture but I wasn't going to Boo... (I don't boo at Clemson games so I try not to boo at concerts). Anyhow The National have a T-Shirt with Obamma on it saying Mr. November and he wanted everyone to buy it... Whatever.... BUT Michael missed a golden opportunity to play "It's the End of the World As We Know It" after he told us all to vote for Obamma. That would have been Funny and True... We not all feel fine if this happens...

Good Show boys... I just hope they give The Modern Skirts they kind of props they gave Modest Mouse and The National when they are in Europe... This is The Modern Skirts big break.... Hopefully they will come home with a Record Deal and many many thousands of new fans... That would be good for those guys.... Kick Ass - Phillip, Jay, and the rest...

Best Cartoon Ever...

OK, After 2 years of blogging I still do not know how to add pictures or files or websites to my posts. I don't want a lecture from anyone but sometimes you have to visualize what I am saying...

Let me explain the Funniest Cartoon Ever....
- This is a 3 panel cartoon that has 2 stick figures in each panel
Panel 1: 1 stick guy says to the other: "I think you should stop drinking."
Panel 2: 2nd stick guy responds: "I think you should shut the fuck up!"
Panel 3: 2nd stick guy takes a drink from a bottle.

Awesome.... An instant classic....

Anti-Monkey Butt...

I just got home from a non-productive day on the road, I turn on ESPN and watch the final 3 minutes of Turkey v. Croatia and see the only 2 goals of the game, then the Turks pull it out in PK's. (I thought the Cro-ats were the best team in the tourny but I guess not)

Anyhow, SportsCenter came on afterward and they were giving us all the highlights. During the 2nd commercial break - I see a commercial I have never seen before.... ANTI-MONKEY BUTT POWER!!!! I swear, a man and his monkey were on the TV talking about powdering your behind...

OK, many of you are shaking your head but I have known about Anti-Monkey Butt Powder for some time now. For the big 41st birthday what do I get? You got it, Anti-Monkey Butt Powder. I laughed my shorts off when I got it but every time I go to Ace Hardware Store and see it on the counter I make a comment and the clerks always tell me that they sell out of this crap all the time. Truckers buy it by the case load to keep their hiney's baby bottom smoothe...

I love America and the Marketing whores we all are and want to be....

I guess Anti-Ass Pimple Powder was already taken...

Should I take the Wife on Tour???

Just surfing around tonight since I didn't die playing soccer, found out Tiger is in playoff and B-Ball game is over (the ref's colluded to get the much needed 6th game - just my opinion.)

Anyway, I Google: Flogging Molly
It's been a while since I checked on them. They are mid- world tour and checked out their dates...
HOLY SHIT....
They are plaing the House of Blues in N. Myrtle Beach on the last night of our Vacation - I have a time share in Garden City.... Hell Yeah!!! I will get the Rogman and Ms. Ravioli to go with us.
THEN they are in Columbia, SC that Saturday night
THEN Charlotte, NC on Sunday.

Looks like we might get to see 3 shows...

Now I have to sell this to the Wife....

Royale with Cheese....

I gotta move to Europe...
Not because of soccer....
Because of the metric system. I just figured my weight in Kilograms and don't feel so bad.
99kg doesn't sound so bad.

(OK who is the big dork that will do the conversion and post a comment and ruin my mojo?)

Euro 2008 views

I gotta say I have thoroughly enjoyed the coverage of Euro 2008 so far... They are doing it right, 2 games a day, every day. If this was in the US it would only be played on Friday nights (2 games) , Saturday, and Sunday (4 games each day). Then the rest of the week would be nothing. We don't have that here....

We always say College Football is a religion in the South, with most ACC, SEC, Big 12 schools having stadiums holding 70,000+ but you know who has the most die hard fanbase??? MEAC, Conf USA, Sun Belt conference fans. Why do I say that, because they play games when no one else wants to - and they have good crowds. They play on Tuesday and Wednesday nights just to get covered on ESPN U. That's dedication. (I did see that the Clemson v. Citadel game is being televised and will garner a 3:30pm kickoff- wow, thought for sure that would be a nooner.)

Back to Euro 2008. Now I am not saying that these Eurofags aren't taking dives all over the place but in International competition like this - there are no guys writhing on the ground, close to death and calling to have their legs amputated and having to be taken off on stretchers AND THEN miraculously back on the pitch running full speed 2 minutes later. There are guys diving all over the place but at least they are getting up and going back to playing.

It has also been awesome to see the traditional powers falling out early: France and Italy are both out before the round robbin stops. Germany got the shit beat out of them the other day. The Dutch are still doing well but I like seeing Croatia giving everyone a hard time. Good for them. Poor England missed out and didn't even make the field.

The US National team plays the Carribbean powerhouse of Barbados tonight... Geez. Jamaica plays the Bahamas today and the Bahamas has to play both their home and away games in Jamcaica since none of the fields in the Bahamas meets international FIFA standards - that's embarrassing. What're they smoking?

Another soccer note: Today I get back on the Pitch for the first time since November. Tonight starts the summer 7 v 7 league. This should be a good test of my knee but more telling will be my lungs. Jesus. I got on the scale today and I am officially bigger than I ever thought I would be. If I was 6'4" I would be the perfect weight, but 5'10 1/2" is a little chunky.
Played golf last weekend, walked 1.5 hours Wednesday night, and close to 3 miles yesterday. Exercise will have to start beating out the Chicken Wings. I have learned that I can live without exercising but cannot live without Chicken Wings.

Funniest Quote of US Open - and Opinions:

On Fridays' threesomes one group decided to all wear Orange. All very similar bright orange - a true Clemsonesque orange, not a washed out Tennessee orange. This threesome was Shingo Takashumi (sp) of Japan, Miguel Angel Jimenez of Argentina and Boo Weekly of Mississippi. The TV reporters could not get over their matching outfits and one chuckle head said "How did all 3 of them agree on that shade of Orange? None of them speak very good English." I laughed my shorts off. About a Month ago I heard Boo Weekly on the Jim Rome radio show and he was absolutely hilarious. Country as all get out but one of those country guys you gotta watch out for. His hillbilly act is a front for his golfing ability. If he fucks up, what the hell - I is from Missisisippi. If he does well, that's what you get for underestimating me... Not a bad position to be in. One of the funniest interviews I have ever heard. Gotta watch that guy...

By the way - Tiger is amazing...

When he bounced in that chip for birdie on 17 and kinda hid his face while he was chuckeling to himself. That was a moment that very few of us ever, EVER, get to experience. Even he was saying to himself "Holy Shit, did I really just do that." I have made a few miraculous golf shots, pool shots, soccer plays and they have all been PURE LUCK. Tiger knows he's good but he also realizes that he is lucky too.

2 month's after knee surgery is something but let's get beyond it. If he was truely not playing with a brace on - he is an idiot. I have played golf with a blown left ACL, I played 3 months after total reconstructive surgery (with no brace I may add - at Bobby Jones, one of the hilliest courses in ATL) but I did not walk the course. I don't have a problem walking a par 3 course but the last full course I walked was in 1994 and I swore I would never do it again. If I cannot afford a cart, I ain't going to play. Same as looking for balls, I will not play golf without 30 in my bag - ya' never know when you may need that many.

It would be amazing if Injury is what takes Tiger out of Golf. The 'what-if's' people will go nuts. Maybe this will be his excuse to ONLY play Majors, a ballsy move but what else does he need? He has more money than God... Beat Jack's # and relax.

Nike will pay for everything else.

I have been to the Summit - it's a Wayside Tavern!

Thursday I went into the office for a monthly visit and shot the shit with the coworkers. Started talking to my boss and he stated telling me about a cool new bar that i have got to check out. Big Wade doesn't travel too far outside of his Holly Springs "bubble" but he is usually right-on with his recommendations (Except for the Tavern on Bells Ferry - that place is scary).

Anyhow, he says - this bar has 150 beers on tap, 100 Vodka's, and growing to 300 wines by the glass. Kobe and Bison burgers and fantastic wings. Sounds wonderful right? I ask him the name: "Summit's Wayside Tavern"

No fuckin way Wade... We got a Summits in Town Lake??? I love Summits. He asks how I know Summits... Dude, tell Andy - the owner - I said hi, I wonder if Kevin will run this bar because Pete runs the Cumming location and the Snellville location is Andy's baby. Wade goes - so you know these guys... Hell yeah....

Summits Wayside Tavern had their original location on Roswell Rd in Sandy Springs, just 2 doors down from American Pie. In the Early 90's I practically lived at that Taco Mac. The Taco Mac corp did away with all their franchises and Andy said screw you guys and renamed his place Summit's Wayside Tavern - the Legend had been established. What a great place.... Ever since they closed the Roswell location me an Money would take 2 trips a year to Cumming. The Cumming bar has 250 beers on tap and I have toured the cooler, wow, what a line system.

I took the wife in there last night (for 1 beer, she had 1, I had 3) and Andy was there. Hey Kevin, you still work with JC Penney and do you still live in Greenville? No Andy, that was 1993. How often does your bartender remember your personal information from 15 years later.?

We will definitely be going there quite often. Eagle Drive is not that far away.... Hey, if I have my choice of where to drink $6 beers, I will go to Summits Wayside Tavern over Taco Mac every day. Already planning a work happy hour there for next Wednesday...

My New Favorite Color....

Cockkilla Vanilla

I heard this one today and almost pissed myself...
I gotta remember to bust this one out in November...
It's OK for you leghumpers to use it too....

...of course - I'll Do It... FUCK...!

Hey, I know what real work is. Just sometimes the opportunity cost of someone else doing the work vs. me doing the work comes into play. Yesterday was a slap in the face of reality.... Sometimes it's not worth it for other peoplet to do the work - in their opinion.

At 8am I had a Fence company come out and give me an estimate. We need a priviacy fence and since we have fences on 2 sides, all we need is wood across the back and the 2 sides next to the house. A total of 65 feet... Their quote was over $1300... WHAT??? That's $20 per foot... He explained that it was expensive because they have to pay the crew to come out there no matter what. I protest - they will be done in 3-4 hours. Exactly, I have to pay for the whold day because every job is considered a whole day... He also explained that if I were to call 10 fence companies and told them I had 65' to fence, most wouldn't even come over and give the quote since the job is so small. SO - It's up to me to set this fence. FUCK...

Last night me and the wife went to Home Depot and Floor & Decour to discuss the porcelain tile installation for the kitchen and 1/2 bathroom. The slap in the face comes - $7.50 per sqft for installation... JESUS.... Flour & Decour has classes every Saturday on how to do it... I guess I will ge going to class every weekend until i get comfortable enought to tackle this job. Again, we were told that our job is so small it is almost not profitable and that is why there is such a price tag... My issue is... I need my kitchen.... If this job is up to me, I will demo a Thursday and Friday I will get all my materials and start. If I work all night Friday, All day Sat, and All day Sun. I will be: 1) a miserable son of a bitch ready to bite everyone's head off, 2) one frustrated fuck chop because I will immediately think I will not be able to get it finished, 3) HUNGRY, I will have to move the fridge out of the kitchen so what will we do?

I cannot believe all this looks like it is falling on me... I got enough pressure on me with this new project at work. Some people think doing this type of stuff is fun.
Those people are idiots..........