Damn Derilect Tissue Donors!

About 3 1/2 weeks ago I got creamed playing soccer by 2 guys that hit me at the same time. Bammm, and I drop like a stone. Ohhhh Shit. I am on the ground, am I ok, they fucked my knee up, can I move, get up Kevin, don't be a pussy. I make my way to the sidelines and determine that nothing is broken BUT my knee hurts. I play a limited amount in the 2nd half and the next week Boingoingoing my knee blows up. It is >2x the size of my right knee and I can barely walk down the stairs on Monday and Tuesday.
I took the next week off waiting to go see the Dr. but JESUS, getting an appointment is a pain in the ass. While I wait, the swelling goes down. Hmmm, should I play or not? What the fuck - I keep playing. See the Dr. he tries to get me scheduled for an MRI and that is like an act of congress. I play in the next game also. Bad thing about playing soccer and not knowing what is wrong with my knee is the recovery period. I can barely make it thru the whole game THEN Monday, Tues and Wednesday I am miserable and my knee is all swollen. Thursday the swelling goes down and I get ready to play that weeks game.

So, I have played in 3 games this way and finally go see my Dr. today. Damn Kevin, here's your problem - the first MRI x-ray he puts on the screen shows a gnarled mass where my smoothe allograph tendon should be. OH, is it torn? I can't tell if it is torn but it definitely has a tear and the tissue has frayed - like cutting a rope. And, here is some Medial Collateral Ligament damage AND you probably have quite a bit of Miniscus damage and that is where your swelling and pain comes from. That's what concerns me Kev, I took out so much of your Miniscus last time I don't want to take out too much more.

Damn..

OK, lets get the surgery scheduled. Do you want to use my own tissue this time since the cadaver tissue tore? Um, definitely not Kev!!! I am going to find an Achilles tendon to put in you so that you never have to have this surgery again. OK Doc, want me to go hunt down Evander Holleyfield or Michael Vick and extract theirs'?

We'll see what kind of quality Achilles he can find. I just do not have much confidence since the people that earn that $75 for donating their bodies probably aren't the pictures of health and are probably NOT world class athletes (like me). I will probably get Crack Whore Conrad's achilles who got a cramp while brewing a batch of Meth. I can hardly wait.

This should be interesting... Did I mention that my Insurance changes at the end of the month? That's another story.

Steeeeerike 3...

What the hell? Hollywood/New York are on Strike? This is bullshit... I do not want to burdened with re-runs for the next four months (well, that wouldn't be much different from what I watch now - CSI re-runs and Sports)

I have a solution - the Entertainment industry needs to go the way of the Automobile industry... Move South...

Now I am not saying that the political commentary for the Daily Show or Colbert Report would be quite as whitty but hell - Jeff Foxworthy, Larry White, Bill Engvall, and Larry the Cable Guy have all made millions in Dixie.

What kills me is the story I read that Tina Fey is picketing her own show. That is bullshit. Where is the line drawn? Isn't the "Talent" moved into Management positions that aren't covered by the union? Is she showing solidarity - or being a bitch? If I was the Network I would not be happy about my "talent" taking a position.

Speaking of the "Talent" - why can't they write the fucking shows? Are they all just talking heads? Most of them started as writers and moved up to "talent" (John Stewart, Colbert, everyone on SNL, Fey, etc...)

With the number of channels out there, maybe Hollywood will be relegated like Hockey. You don't want to play ball with the American public. Go Fuck yourself. We can do without.

Reality shows don't need writers. Neither do sports - and any Monkey can write the script for SportsCenter.

No Cursing?!?! - No Fucking Way....!

Now this is funny. The NCAA has passed a rule that Basketball coaches that come onto the court or curse while coaching will be hit with Technical Fouls with NO WARNING... What??? No Cursing in Basketball? That's like saying, no dribbling in basketball, or no cornrows in basketball... It is totally ridiculous and unenforceable....

These coaches have taking "Working the Ref's" into an artform. It is beautiful to see Bobby Knight going crazy, Coach K has a spotless reputation but he cusses those goddamn refs relentlessly. Jim Valvano was my favorite. He was very creative and let the expletives flow like I had never seen before...

March Madness may be relabled March Lameness since this important aspect of the tournament will be missing. I can hardly wait until a team loses a game because their coach goes crazy with no time left and the other team gets to shoot 2 freethrows to win the game....

Information - NOT!!!

Tonight I did something I don't do - I called 411 from my cell phone while driving.
I was looking to make some tee times at the City Club of Marietta for this weekend. The first operator told me they could find no listing and transferred me to the problem solving line. 2nd operator asked "City Club of Mariettta?" Yes. What about Marietta City Club? Whatever, I say. Sorry sir we have no listing. WHHHAAAATTT??? I have played golf there 8 times. I say "Excuse me ma'am, if you do a Google search it will come right up, could you give me their number, I am driving."
BITCH responds "I'm sorry sir, this is Information NOT the Internet."
"Ummm, I hear you typing on a computer, can't you Google City Club of Marietta."
"No sir, this is information, not the internet"
"Ummm Obviously not, do you suggest I wait until I get in front of my own computer to find the number?"
One word anser.
"YES"
And the fucking bitch hung up on me.....
Holy Shit... What a cuntrag!!!
Guess what - I Google - City Club of Marietta and I go right to their website.
What a fucking bitch. I woulda called back to complain but that would have cost me another $1.49 and I would have spoken to another incompetent asshole.
Tomorrow I may call Cingular or the lowercase "att" and complain and spend 45 minutes on the phone to get the $`1.40 charge taken off. OR, I might just go outside and catch a $20 bill on fire and watch it burn - that would give me more pleasure in a short amount of time than going thru all the menu's to talk to someone who will say "Well this is att wireless and you were talking to att information and we cannot be responsible for another att department." My brain might explode since I spent 8 years in the orgainization...
I also need to complain that my automatic download text messages of the Clemson football scores are coming thru 4 times per quarter. That works out fine when we win 70-14 but when we lose to the North Avenue Trade School, or the Virginia Dorks that survived the massacre, it really sucks. Those $0.10's are adding up...

Goodies RULE!!!!

So, I play golf on Friday and we don't even turn in our score card... I can't document the events of the day to protect the guilty but what an F'd up day. I am sketchy on my own actions that day but I do remember stealing a plate with 4 hamburgers on it from the Chateau Elan grill, then eating 2 or 3 of the burgers then spiking the plate on the ground in some random parking lot. Why? I have no idea.

We get home around 6pm. I leave Money's house and say I will be back there by 9:45pm to go to Smiths Olde Bar... The Goodies were playing.

I get over to Money's house and his ass is passed out. He gets up, showers, and it is ON. We get to Smith's, now comes the decision - do I really want to drink. Of course- but in moderation. I go upstairs and catch the "Rockin' Pontoons" - ha, they would be good if they were set adrift on a pontoon boat in Lake Hartwell, down past LA (lower Anderson). The Goodies came on EARLY, about 11:30. That is the first, non opening start time that I can remember. WOW did they kick ass...! This was one of the best Goodies shows I have ever seen! I had a blast. I just hope it isn't their last show for another year. Who knows, Holiday turned 35 at mid-night and he thinks he is old now.

Got home around 2. SHIT, the Clemson game is at noon... Got up at 6:30 so we could get on the road and go the the blowout... I have been dead tired since.

King Richard

Know what I did Thursday night???

I worked diligently on my bathroom and am almost ready to install the sink.

I made an incredible concoction that I still do not have a name for yet in preparation for my first golf tournament for team Fokker @ Chateau Elan. Let's see, Pint of Bacardi 151, a 5th of Stoli vodka, a 5th of Captain Morgan, 1 750ml of Midori, 4 shots of Peach Schnapps, 1 shot Triple Sec, and 5 shots Three Olives Vodka-Grape flavor, 1/2 gallon of Orange Juice, 6 little cans of Pineapple, 2 Red Bulls, 1 Diet Rock Star, 8 oz of Tonic. I split the mix into 4 Gatorade bottles so everyone would have one and then brought the excess for refills.... Oooof.

While making this drink, guess what was on TV? HBO had a 1978 concert by Richard Pryor. Holy Shit. This was probably the 3rd time I had seen this concert but it has been >10 years since I had seen this one. Damn, his comedy is timeless. It was great too because it was filmed "before" he blew himself up... It was almost 2am before it was over but I laughed as hard the other night as I did the first time I saw this concert when I was in the 8th Grade.
Rest in Peace Richard! You were the GREATEST.

Beware of those dirty rednecks...

I heard about this story on Friday and finally read about it today... All I can say is HA!!! This totally shows how utterly in contempt that those assholes in Washington hold the every day American in. They thing "WE" might infect them with cooties or something.

I have been to 6 Busch Series races, the Sunday NASCAR races have too many damn people there, and I gotta say that race fans are different than your normal football game. I guess it may be a cross section closely resembling a Georgia game but take the red to another level. There is nothing wrong with these people, don't get me wrong. If the politicians would do their research, NASCAR has the fans with the highest income level: studies say the average fan makes over $70K BUT they don't tend to be white collar fans. That means you can make some killer jack in construction, or in an auto plant or being a mechanic. Nothing wrong with that. These politicians are idiots.

Here's the Article:

NASCAR Flap Raises Caution Flag for Dems
By MIKE BAKER, Associated Press Writer
Sun Oct 14, 3:29 PM

The field takes the green flag for the start ...
RALEIGH, N.C. - It got the GOP's engines revving _ a Democratic official suggesting staffers get immunized for several diseases before heading south from Washington and into the Red State wilds of NASCAR country to conduct research at a pair of races.
The reaction on both sides illustrates just how valuable candidates for elected office consider the votes of NASCAR fans who pack grandstands by the thousands every weekend and the donations of business leaders who spend millions to sponsor the sport.
It started last month, when an official with the House Committee on Homeland Security suggested that staff aides get immunizations before visiting health facilities at Alabama's Talladega Superspeedway and North Carolina's Lowe's Motor Speedway, where the Bank of America 500 was run Saturday.
In an e-mail, a staffer who works for committee chairman Rep. Bennie Thompson, D-Miss., noted an "unusual need for whomever attending to be vaccinated against hepatitis A and B," as well as "the more normal things _ tetanus, diphtheria, and of course, seasonal influenza."
The note didn't explain why the committee saw such concern. It didn't mention NASCAR or the races at the tracks at all. But the implication was enough to draw a snarky complaint from Republican Rep. Robin Hayes, whose district includes Lowe's Motor Speedway.
"I have never heard of immunizations for domestic travel, and ... I feel compelled to ask why the heck the committee feels that immunizations are needed to travel to my hometown," wrote Hayes.
Thompson responded to Hayes that such immunizations are "are recommended for public safety professionals working in areas such as hospitals, holding areas and similar locations." But the staffers were only scheduled to visit a few health care facilities _ not work at them.
"What do they know about NASCAR that we don't?" said Dr. David Weber, a professor of medicine and public health at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
Weber said everyone should be up to date on standard vaccinations, he but saw no need for special vaccinations to visit a health care facility or a NASCAR event. Debbie Crane, a spokeswoman for the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services, said such shots are recommended for "general health" for all adults _ but not for any specific circumstance.
"The very idea of immunization is laughable," said Lowe's Motor Speedway President Humpy Wheeler. "It's like taping your ankles to go to the mailbox."
He noted that no NASCAR event has ever sparked an outbreak _ "other than a few headaches because somebody's favorite driver ran out of gas, or maybe a morning hangover."